Thoughts and Dreams: Detox Vol.1

Hello world--long time no see---

Pardon if I'm a bit antsy, but it's taking everything in me to not cop some cigs right now. I'll explain why I won't just go get them later. Lately, I've been growing anxious concerning the prospects of my future. I'm not at all confident I'm doing what needs to be done to move forward. Why? Quite frankly, because I'm a lazy fucking bum. There I said it. Henrico Antwan Norris--as it stands is a complete waste of space: too busy waiting for success to fall into his lap to get up and take control of his own life.

Over the past few weeks, I've grown increasingly disappointed with where I am in life. Sure, I'm 22 and some may feel I have plenty of time for a midlife crisis, but if being around Emory kids does anything to you, it reminds you that there is AlWAYS someone progressing. Always someone else working, applying, executing, or developing when I'm being lazy. I'm sorry, but the previous standards I had of simply exiting the hood are proving inadequate for my desired path.


I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why I'm feeling like such an underachiever. When did this start? That would undoubtedly help me figure out how to get over it. I took a step back and noticed that I've neglected to address my person for the better part of 2 years--perhaps longer. Understand that in order to mature properly, you've got to commit yourself to daily self evaluation (note NOT useless self criticism).

And thus we have the Thoughts and Dreams: Detox series. More for my own benefit than anything, I intend on chronicling the progress of my self improvement, by articulating the areas that have the most need and working my way toward becoming the person I want to be. This means setting goals; this means accepting the challenge of changing habits I've had for years. It will be uncomfortable, but it will also be rewarding and productive. Feel free to comment and add your perspectives---I plan on being quite candid throughout this process, so I'm sure to have different positions than most people on a number of issues.

Detox Step #1

The first and most important part of this detox process is establishing your base areas for improvement. It's important I take the time to think of areas in my life I am genuinely concerned about. I won't have as much chance for success if I focus my energy on improving things I don't think matter. So with that said, Let's list the areas I care most deeply about.......

• Health
• Finances and Essential Needs
• Values and Convictions
• Career Goals
• Leisure Time
• Education
• Creative Release
• Home Environment
• Love and Relationships
• Achievement
• My Self Perception
• Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections
• Coping with Stress
  

This list is ever changing and is in no way exhaustive. However, it provides a much needed starting point to affect change in the way I do things. Now, before we move forward, let's take out a couple of these bullets from above:

Love and Relationships
Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections


Notice these two areas deal with other people. So for now, we're going to put those on the back burner. It is vital I address the needs of "self" and my own person before incorporating others into my detox. In fact, short of this blog, I don't plan on involving others in this process to a large degree. I've deactivated any social networks for the time being. That's mainly because part of the detox is understanding who I am independent of people and other external factors.

Isolation may not be the best means for everyone, but it takes knowing what your needs are. I know many of my issues stem from comparing myself to other people for instance. Many of my self perception issues cause me to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. And of course without values and convictions, how can you truly add substance to your interactions with others. These are just a couple of examples, but essentially I want to make the point that REAL CHANGE STARTS FROM THE INSIDE, so take a break from the external pressure for a while and chill. Focus on doing your own thing and in time, we'll deal with everything else.




So I've taken the first step in this Detox and laid out what areas I want to improve. The next step is the diagnostic: an honest evaluation of how I'm doing in each of these areas and what will need to be done.