When Rico Gets Pissed 09--The Nigga Chronicles

From an actual conversation...........

Rico- What's wrong?

Dumb Bitch- ______ bein' stupid again...I asked him why he ain't call me and he got all mad at me and shit cuz he said he was "workin".

Rico-un huh...workin' where?

Dumb Bitch-I don't know--some shit up in the goddamn studio... And his baby mama in town, so he say he was chillin' with her...

Rico-....And u cool with that?

Dumb Bitch- I mean....

Rico- U's a dumb bitch.....


All bitches aint dumb ones, but you'd be surprised.....

I simply want to address a little problem I've noticed with the females I encounter and talk to...
pardon if I'm a bit rash because to be honest, this post hits very close to home because nothing frustrates an intellectual like myself more than ignorant people....I'm not being cocky.....well actually yes I am--I don't need anyone to tell me I represent the upper echelon when it comes to Black males.....but for some reason...ya know what, just listen

1) I think I said it once before, but women get too caught up in romanticism. Just because he strokes your ego every other sentence doesn't mean this nigga's worth it. I personally feel like women see an attractive guy and want to find a reason to like him, even though he ain't doin' a damn thing with his life, stay locked up or in some mess, got a baby mama, can't finish school or stay up in some damn studio, etc.--the list goes on. A friend of mine literally fell head over heels for some dude she met in the club just because he came at her with cheesy ass lines all the time--you know? Talkin' about how pretty your smile is, acting like he really cares about your day, the "harmless" flirting. As soon as he realized she wasn't givin' it up no time soon, he stopped talking to her. Damn...just a week ago, this boy said he was different--wanted to be patient and build a good friendship with you...guess he changed his damn mind. And I pray you don't fuck these conniving ass niggas. Words are just that--words. Actions speak louder and you have to hold these fools to higher standards than making you "feel" good through text messages or a couple dinners.

2) That leads me into the next issue I have with women and their standards. Find someone who has a least a little drive and determination, who isn't typical. The best type of men are the ones who actually think. Is the guy you're talking to a dreamer? Does he have ambition? Or does he just sit on his ass all day and claim he's makin' moves? You know the answer. I was shocked at how many beautiful, intelligent, working women fell for guys who had no degree of purpose in their lives. 95% of the time, these men were involved in music in some form or fashion. I don't think that shit's a coincidence. I have nothing against creativity--I do it too, but use some common sense---If five years from now(when you're not in school anymore) you can't admit what your man is doing to your friends at work, your parents or anybody you respect, then don't settle now. Don't even waste your time. I know you're saying "Five years? Damn!" But hey, if you can't see a long term relationship being built, then why are you bothering with him? You're a grown damn woman, so stop playing little childish games! How many studioheads you know makin' it happen? Is promoting your friends' events really a career or just an excuse to be at the damn club every other night? Is the money (if any) made from these endeavors being invested in worthwhile efforts? You'll find the answers to these questions usually make it clear whether your man is really doing something with his life or if he's using a hobby as an excuse to remain in his hood mentality of going platinum someday. You got an education, make that nigga get his.

3) LISTEN!!! Women are some of the most stuck up species I've ever seen. It's almost as if they go looking for aint-shit niggas or at least only respond to them. I'm not saying you have to give the time of day to every guy who comes your way, but if someone is polite and comes up to you for conversation instead of hopping on your ass like a jackrabbit or getting all up in your face like he own you, you may want to see what's poppin' with the gentleman. He may not be as flashy or even as charming all the time, but what you will get is a needed dose of authenticity in a world where everybody frontin' to get somethin'. You gave your number to the nigga who bought you a drink and grinded on your ass for ten songs, but you dismiss the man who actually ASKS you if you want to dance or walks up to you and says "how are you" instead of running game. Get over yourselves ladies! Be more damn approachable.

4) You deserve better. Simple as that. Don't simplify who you are to accommodate a whim, something that caught your eye. If you're going to spend your time with people, make sure they're worth it. Stop trying to build these pathetic ass men you meet into something close to successful when you know that's not realistic. Everybody you attracted to ain't worth givin the time of day, and all the people you dismiss because their "swag" or whatever the hell was off in the club ain't bad. Keep your standards high, but keep your mind and eyes open.

Ok I'm done ranting----reading over this, many might feel I'm just an angry little man who can't get a girl.....I really don't give a damn. Because while you bitchin to your girls about how "niggas aint shit" cuz he cheatin' on yo ass or "you don't know what to do with him" because he doesn't appreciate you, I'll be getting my third degree while some of these niggas hopin for their first. Damn that was a low blow...... I'm sorry I didn't go to community college, or hustle cd's out my trunk, or get a girl pregnant in high school, or get VIP status at the club...I'm so fucking sorry I grew up.....Bitch please.....Don't tell me I ain't the shit....

Personal Renovations: Baby Steps and Patience

So I've been thinking more and more lately about how to improve the quality of my life. More specifically, I'm wondering if I'm doing enough at this point to ensure I'm on the path to success. Fact is I'm not.

There are a few primary areas that have consumed the majority of my time and energy. Those areas are finances, social interaction at all levels, finding a career, and overall being more purposeful in my actions.

I've decided that in order to develop in these areas, it's going to take a concerted effort. I've been sitting on my ass waiting for shit to happen and it just doesn't work that way. The only way to achieve is to perform---perform at the highest level I can at all times. Knowledge of this fact is the key to making positive changes in my life. I am fully aware that I have the potential to fulfill my dreams of attaining a peaceful and thoroughly creative mind, but it's definitely going to take hard work.

In the coming weeks, I'll be blogging about my successes, failures and thoughts during this process. It's more to keep me grounded and focused on my goal. Also, it'll help me get used to writing more often. I feel like writing is definitely the most effective means of therapy for me. It's been that way since day one and I can't imagine why I stopped, even for a little while. But the here and now is all that matters.

STRUCTURE

The first and most important step to creating positive change is cultivating a positive, productive mindset. All negative thoughts including, but not limited to doubt, fear, antagonism, bitterness and worry must be removed. A daily affirmation is useful in establishing a firm base for successful thinking. Motivational or profound quotes have always did it for me. My facebook status is a good idea of what I mean--pick quotes that make you think, not the cliche sort that people hear everyday from their grandparents...

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. -Henry David Thoreau

Now isn't that beautiful and profound? Basically he's saying that we can't simply change on a whim, think a thought once and be done with it. We must continually and everlastingly think the "thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." We have to train our minds to work in the way we wish our persons to be. In my experience, it's best to envision yourself living the life you want to and working your way backward from there. First what kind of person do you want to be? What are your passions currently? Invest in the good ones. What are your hopes and dreams? Take the steps now to try to achieve as many of them as you can. You'd be surprised at how much you're actually capable of when you simply try. Think of it this way. Everyone dreams and wants things, but a very small percentage even begin to work toward their fondest desires. By simply beginning, you've brought yourself closer to your dreams than you could ever believe. It could be as simple as building your resume and applying for a job, auditioning for theater, writing a story or too, committing to furthering your education, making a list of things to do, cleaning your room, working out, quitting smoking, telling yourself you're worthy of success, praying every night, or any of a variety of things that represent moving toward becoming who it is you want to be. EVALUATE YOURSELF HONESTLY AND CRUDELY AND KEEP AN OPEN MIND. FROM THERE, CREATE THE SELF IMAGE THAT REPRESENTS THE ESSENCE OF THE QUINTESSENTIAL "YOU".

By constantly improving your self perception and always finding new positive goals to add to your desired self image, you provide yourself with structure and a guide toward success. Your self image is the backbone of your path to success.

The Initial Realization- Means and Ends

Today, yesterday, tomorrow, it's all the same moment, the same opportunity for the decision to go wherever I please in life. It seems even though I realize that, I'm still pretending I have time to fuck around and play games--childish games. The faster I get real, the sooner I'll feel secure in my chances to control this beast called life.

These damn tricks I keep playing on myself, acting as if I should really be concerned with such matters as lust, attention, silly constructs of happiness that only aid in my diagnosis as a clinically depressed, bipolar, temperamental silly man when all are really a complete waste of my time. They are wastes only because they result from my thinking about nothing beyond the current state of things, the immediate gratification of ignorance....no...not ignorance.....foolishness and fleeting bouts of pleasure. Hmm, so I guess I think I have more time than I actually do to fool around.

You see, that my friend is precisely the issue. I continue to assume that because the moment is infinite, I am too. But that isn't how God chose to make this sick little indulgence of His. Not at all. You see God is infinite. So in reality, God is the only One capable of embracing the luxury of an infinite moment, a total non existence of time.....and subsequently, death.

So herein lies our dilemma, which will promptly be addressed. I have already decided that. So I will die (sooner than later given my lack of concern for healthy practices) and I can't reap the advantages of infinity because I have a time to die. However, while I am on this earth, I can learn to make some headway, control this moment just a bit. But I have to start soon. What a drag. So what do I do now?

Should I...devote myself to a life of obedient Christianity? Perhaps I should scrap all concern for institutions and simply focus on doing whatever it takes to feel good...no, no not that. That's where I am now. Maybe it depends on what I want to be. Let's figure that out, shall we. Top Ten things I want out of this wretched life of mine before I die.

Power
Money
Security
Affection
Fame
Importance

wait, wait.......I see. So it seems I'm getting my means and ends confused. Aha, it's when we pursue our means as ends, we get that horrible affliction of disillusion. Means are precisely that--means and aren't meant to last. I've been doing that for a while, going after means. So let's redo the list. First with our desired ends.

Security
Purpose

wow, suddenly that list gets a whole lot shorter when you think about the shit that matters. And the means? Well that list would be a bitch to do tonight, so maybe next time.

I don't know the title yet, but a story I'm writing...

So this journey called life-simple right? I’m sure you’ve got everything and anything all figured out? Wrong: as wrong as something could possibly be. In fact, it’s proven more difficult in the past four days than anything I could imagine….

Day 1

Day broke-- like I broke open an eye and stroked my face and I, unfortunately awoke. Damn. Try as I might, this just wasn't my time to die. Not yet. Still trials to be suffered, goals to be met and I bet my last smoke this should prove another day worth dying after. Damn. Day broke, and I lay drifting into some world I wished was there. Where I wasn't boxed in this white room with its white walls and doors, all the more to drive me mad and the sun was white hot against my black ass face. Damn. I hated it.

"Wake up bitch! It’s Monday. Time to receive some of that million dollar education.” It was Kyle. He was always moving, always doing something …if even not for his best interest.

"It’s school…it’s not going anywhere. It will be there tomorrow…and the next day and the next one. It’s actually quite annoying.” I said.

I Moved about my bed and the pillow didn't feel right anymore. Turned it. Cold, better and comfortable. Some hope maybe? But five minutes into time saw me hating it all the more.

“Dude you still haven’t done anything with this room. It’s so bland.” said Kyle.

“I have no money to do anything, including unnecessary acts like decorating this prison you call a dorm.” I said.

"Well guess what Mr. Pessimist. Life is a very real thing. And right now the most important thing in your life is getting up and going to class. Wake up fool!”

Kyle kicked the bed, but I pretended not to notice. I wanted to go back into my dreams, to my world of paradise and trees, woods never ending and a symbolic rainfall teeming with the stimulation I craved. I hated the real world. It was a mess. Like my room. I turned over again and reached towards something better. The ritual Newport that eased my habitual thoughts of death. That box had things in it. 20 reasons to live a "class A" life. Empty. Shit, that's the story of my existence.

“It’s a bright day man!” Kyle said, ripping open the curtains. The blinding light of the sun in the morning. Ugh.

Kyle was what you might like to call my best friend. Well in reality, he was my only friend, but I made it count. I met him back in high school, a glutton for trouble but a boy wise beyond his 16 years at the time. He’s 18 now and loving it. We decided to stick together and left the hood for higher ground. Emory University, a top twenty school teeming with all the middle class we could get our hands on. Oh, how we strove for the middle class.

“Fine, I’m up you stupid idiot.” I said.

I stood up, glaring at the source of my misfortune. He dared speak another word or I’d kill him.

“Plus you know that crazy ass bitch, Tammy gon’ be lookin’ for yooooou oooh! Leaving her on the street last night?! She’s most definitely going to have a thing or two to say to um, express my utter disgust with your behavior. Who the fuck talks like that? A crazy bitch, that’s who.”

“I hate you so much. Tammy deserved that shit. She was acting up all night. Flirting with anything on two legs, pretending she was single? She practically begged me to slap her behind in the mouth. I swear I don’t know what keeps me with her.” I said.

“I don’t know either. Well…oh would you look at that. Guess who’s outside waiting? Tammy. That’s yo ass Mr. Postman.” I’ll see you in class. If you make it.”

“Thanks for the moral support.” I said. Kyle left and I inched toward the window. I made eye contact with her. Damn! She was still there when I looked. I sighed and went to brush my teeth.

A natural disaster was about to occur and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The Line Between Friends and Lovers: The Case of the Ex

The line between friends and lovers: The Case of the Ex


Whether it be an ex, a childhood friend, someone you just met, or whatever, we constantly find ourselves caught up in the classic situation of not knowing "what we are", "whether we should be doing this" and all that jazz.

The Ex

I constantly find myself talking, chilling just trying to kick it with the ex because nobody wants to be fighting and sh*t just because a relationship couldn't work out. I tried it and there are certain things you have to remember if you plan on being friends.

1) Don't fool yourself into thinking your relationship never happened.

2)Just because yall still f*ckin', don't mean yall still together.

3) Don't get in "what if" conversations

4) Don't talk about whose fault it is you broke up. Say it was mutual if someone asks.

5) If you and your ex's friendship fails, be careful about communicating with your ex's friends, family, or associates.


6) Don't date each other's friends. What's a friend?

*Anyone with below 2 degrees of separation.

*Any friend who actively hung out with the ex,

*that one friend you know you wanna talk to and you know they wanna talk to you, but it would blow up.

*friends who aren't friends with your ex anymore as a result of a fallout

*anybody your ex would "magically" turn into a friend, even if its untrue.


7) Keep your business to yourself.

8) Keep physical contact to a minimum (if you can help it)

9) Don't immediately get a rebound

10) Don't say you love them

Perserverance

I received a phone call today from a friend back home who following up on a developing situation with her brother. She was worried about him. Her brother is 16, attending an all black high school much as I did and he got himself into some mess and wants to drop out of school citing it's too much trouble to change. No matter what his parents or sister say to him, he just keeps on getting himself into trouble with gangs, drugs and girls. He ran away from home and now his sister was looking for him. His sister convinced his parents not to call the police since he was answering his phone just not telling where he was. I had talked to him many times before and he was so much like me. He just wanted to prove himself, prove he was worth something more than what people gave him credit for. The kid is smart. He has much potential and I was saddened to hear that one more of my brothers was falling by the wayside. I remember him telling me he was way smarter than I was and he would prove it to me if it was the last thing he did. It was like looking in a mirror. He was like maybe 12 then. It should be noted that since then he's bested me at every test, achievement or otherwise and honestly I was glad, just excited that he was beating the same circumstances I did and moving forward. That is why I was so shocked to hear this. He is a senior I believe now but I hadn't talked to him a while. I neglected his phone calls and would always say I was busy when really I could have talked to him.

Eventually I was able to speak with him and ask him what the hell was going on. He told me no one liked him. I said what should you care if people don't like you. You are a likable person. He said his parents seemed to be solely focused on his education, his friends felt like they couldn't talk to him because he was too "deep" and some even said he was stuck up, and he decided to join a gang to get some street credit and respect from his peers. He started using hard drugs and his grades fell, and was finding himself in some very compromising situations. He felt his world crumbling around him and his grades dropped before he got kicked out of school for fighting.His girlfriend, whom he admitted tried to get him to chill left him. And to top it all off, he saw a young man beaten to a bloody pulp the other day and almost panicked when his gang insisted he join in and he didn't, thus they ridiculed him and threatened him about telling. He was distraught and said he ran away to get some peace. He didn't feel like he had anything left and now he would be a failure.

by this point, I was crying. I was so angry at how the mind and the world drives us into these positions of despair. I told him that there was nothing stopping him from being great and that in fact he was closer to it now than he'd ever been. He didn't understand, so I told him of some of my more recent experiences and how these times are necessary to strengthen us, give us wisdom and help us understand what things really matter in this world. he told me that he wants to get back to being productive but didn't know where to start. He thought his college hopes were dashed, his relationship with his parents and friends ruined because they knew he had ran away and ironically didn't respect him for the violence he was associated with. I told him it was all irrelevant. People will always have their flawed perceptions about you and what you do and why you do it. Some are jealous ones who envy your talents and abilities and want nothing more than to be like you because they themselves lack identity and purpose. Some are fools who are too ignorant to understand who you are and resort to superficial matters of satisfaction like being popular and playing to the masses. Some are fighting their own issues and compensating through gangs and otherwise and they seek out vulnerable people like you and exploit them. But you, you must be different. You must decide for yourself that you are greater than all those things and fight to regain your place. Again he asked how? I told him God and a willingness to endure heartache for a real purpose and not for the sake of having problems.

So I preached to him for a while and by the end of the conversation we were laughing it up and he was again insisting he'd be greater than I was. Little did he know I was no greater than he. I'd done the same things all the way into college. I was the same as him and he as me and we as any person in the world. We were both two black men who needed a wake up call and now were facing life with renewed motivation. He eventually returned home and currently in the process of getting his life back together. I was so glad to hear of his fortune and I thanked God I was able to help him. I wonder how many others are seeking someone to talk to, to relate. I certainly am at times. Aren't we all? It's funny how I still face those battles that my younger companion did and will.

I implore our people to help each other more. Your experiences are the key to our success.

Realizing Your Potential-Bound in your own Mental Shackles Part 1 Share

We have to reevaluate what matters people. We have to make the most of our lives....

To myself and the masses of bad decision makers,

When will the education profit you? When will you stop deceiving yourself and believing that the path you walk, the thoughts you think, the choices you continue to make upon the basis of your own severely limited thought processes are anything close to your potential, your greatest position in life? When will you cease with the participation in mediocre, otherwise pointless endeavors and begin to transform yourself into a model of productivity? When will you seek peace in the correct places and stop with the knock-off appearances of "happy", "content" and perfectly okay with putting on the facade of well being? Enough with the games, man, when are you going to decide to win? When will your dedicate yourself to reality, truth and authentic happiness?

It's not as if you don't understand your errors in judgment. It's not as if you are ignorant to the negativity and poison you've continued to welcome into your life--all for the fleeting passion of the moment, the emotional and mental high that comes from living as if you are oblivious to right and wrong. Who are you fooling? You aren't even fooling yourself and to be truthful, that in itself is amazing considering you've up to this point never given anyone reason to believe you are capable of discerning concepts as simple as consequences, as the "long run"....As your future?

More specifically, you focus your energies on dead pursuits. What I mean is you invest your precious ability into fits of pleasure, for the wrong types of attention and company, in essentially creating a false sense of security. It angers me to no end!

At moments you show glimmers of hope, small signs of the power you hold within to change the world, to change your life and way of thinking in order to have the greatest influence you can have--that of adding positive energy to this place.

You've chosen to be uninterested in cultivating habits and beliefs, behaviors and efforts aimed at shaping you into a wholesome individual and giving your life the purpose you've sought for so long.


Why? Where are you going with the mayhem, the unhealthy lifestyle and this twisted thinking that has got you believing more in the people who hurt you and the indulgences of a vagabond than the prospect of a God who can and has restored your soul from pieces? Do you not remember where you were just a short time ago? Recognize that you are lucky to even have the opportunities you have because you haven't made God or fortune's job easier with your foolish actions and decisions.

Stop wasting away with thoughts of what you could do, what you feel you don't have the discipline to do or silly ideas of believing this existence you have now is all there is to life.There is so much more and you know it!! I don't need to show you a slideshow of your future if you correct your philosophies! You fully understand what's at stake here!! Think of what the next 50 or 60 years of your life could be or more seriously, are you going to ignore what may be the fate of your soul after you leave this plain of existence? Do you really want to take that risk? Eternity?

If for nothing else, reevaluate your current state of mind for the sake of your inner peace. How long do you want to swim in sin, in boredom, in the relative predictability of lust, sloth and being dare I say, average? What is that? Nothing is what is! Nothing! you're worth so much more!

If even for your own pride, do something! I can't watch you rot! I can't be satisfied with settling! Your family, your peers, those rich and poor, famed, esteemed or hated cannot be your measuring stick for success. Measure yourself against the belief that you are capable of nothing less than the best, the most that life and love have to offer you. Pray that a change is made in your heart and that you will finally commit to taking the road less traveled.

I promise the results will amaze you.

Classic Hip Hop 101

This is the first track off The Notorious BIG's first solo LP, Ready to Die. It's titled Things Done Changed, and speaks to a lot of the stuff I blog about...namely the stresses of struggling in violent, drug, infested communities and the decision to either overcome or be consumed by it. However it's also a display of some of the best lyrical talent we've had in a couple decades. Biggie is the truth, no doubt about it. Check out his real*st perspective.



Download Ready to Die here

Therapy

For every realization, there is a tribulation. For every positive thought, looms another---lurking caught between the heart and mind, finding its way into reality, slowly, surely eating away at sense since my heart battles between right and wrong everyday. And every way is a darkened path of love and hate, to fail or be great these things take total and utter control of me. But life like most trials takes a while to contemplate--so I wait for some sort of sign, eyes like mine fail to see what sits behind facades and shine. I keep trying to be what I despise --so much until I'm frankly out of touch with this plain of existence. Senseless pondering and wishing, fishing for things I know nothing about. Love? Success? God? none of which show themselves often beyond a sickening imagination where such concepts lead to flawed maturation. This is everything I thought life would be--a chasing of the wind.

No amount of degrees, please just spare me words of ease that I might simply appease struggle with a need to achieve. That is ignorant. To not know interactions and perception, mental preconceptions determine much of what we base success in is evidence of a supreme lack of intelligence. And these foolish definitions of peace, at least to me, lie in the belief the world is a better place--with me? Don't make me laugh--but i might crack a smile when I'd rather crack your teeth..........

This is how I release negativity, with my proclivities to write until I can't think anymore. Empty to the floor these jagged little words and look up in the sky at all the free little birds and think....

It's beautiful.

An Exposition on Sense

What is it that changes a person? Teaches them how to live and apply the knowledge from lessons learned? What is it that drives a person to ponder what normalities are flawed and useless? I question what you say, and my doubts are plenty because you don't know why you are you indeed. To live without knowing who you are is to simply exist and sense is lacking in such a state.

Sense is seeing, adapting, embracing those differences of experience. It's feeling the things around you and a constant acceptance of diversity. Without this assimilation, you are and will always be a fool.

Sense is maturing and progress. Stagnation is a sign of apathy. Why is it that you choose to remain the same? How boring it is to be predictable. No one is interested in you truly because you are the same and hence are no more valuable than some stereotype and you lend yourself to be judged by others like you.

Sense is silence. Hush and hear the words of the world as they are teeming with knowledge and perspective. Ignorance is bliss, but it is still ignorance. How can you grow when you don't even know when you're being ridiculed, torn and broken by the masses?

Sense is compassion, empathy and love. Forget yourself. Only when you live to understand the ways of men will you truly be complete. You are but a small part of a greater existence. Learn the whole and be wise to the thoughts of those around you so that you have control over every aspect of your life, yes the vital perceptions of the people too.

Sense is humility. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes. You will face the consequences of your actions. Be wary. Sense is knowing you are responsible for the image you portray. To have sense is to grow, but how difficult it is to repair a broken sculpture of your essence. Your mind will be ripped to shreds if you paint a picture of despair, turmoil and misery.

Sense is sense. Either you have it or you don't.

4 Pillars of Academic Success in College

Within each and every one of us is the capacity to succeed, to be great and achieve things beyond our wildest dreams. However, it seems we hinder ourselves with twisted, distorted, limiting mindsets. I say this referring to the belief that external factors play the greatest role in our performance in an educational setting and ultimately in our mission to become knowledgeable. If we as students of the world continue to depend on externalities like money, grades, our parents, friends or depend on those things that come and go with time, we will never reach our full potential. There are 4 pillars to academic success and they cross all subjects. Of course this is my opinion, but a healthy balance of these 4 things is the key to effective learning and education.

1. Personal Confidence/Internal Motivation

I feel this is the most important thing to have. It's the personal motivation to be the best at whatever you do independent of outside factors. It's wanting to do well and be great because you feel you are deserving of nothing less. Doing and performing for reasons like getting into grad school or satisfying your parents aren't reliable, but attaining knowledge because you have developed a love for improving the quality of your own existence is the key to continuity. Secondly, personal confidence goes a long way in maintaining a positive challenging atmosphere. Challenging yourself to do better because you know you are capable of such is the greatest source of improvement, not a bad grade. In short,internal motivation lasts and external motivation doesn't. Know without a shadow of a doubt you can and will learn anything you want to. Whenever you look at a grade and know you could have gotten a better one if you wanted to, but just didn't, that's ignoring your internal motivation. Love to be the best and you'll find yourself performing well across many disciplines.

2. Critical Thinking/Articulation

Exposure to different sets of information encourages students to think and criticize what information is put before them. Critical thinking is what separates memorizing from learning for instance. Critical thinking also encourages articulation of ideas and thoughts that enter our minds thus improving our ability to argue, debate and speak our minds before a group. It promotes tolerance and understanding as well. Critical thinking is half of all the academic challenges you'll face and being able to cultivate such a skill is priceless when you have papers, complex science tests and other abstract assignments involved in applying learned concepts.Learn your voice and speak. This can only be done by opening your mind and eyes to wisdom from all perspectives and taking them as your own.

3.Efficient Learning Style

It's all fine and well to study a lot or to develop an effective learning style, but it's useless if it isn't efficient. We must take the time to improve upon our learning style so that we retain more material in a shorter time. too many people study for hours only to see they only perform at an average to slightly above average level. Every business seeks efficiency to increase productivity, not quantity. It's the old adage of studying smart, not hard. Developing this skill has allowed me to maintain an above average performance level despite slacking in the next department-good study habits.

4.Good Study Habits/Organizational Ability.

Imagine the classmate in elementary school, who always got the "busy work" done. Your teacher says go home and write 30 definitions and you think to yourself "how pointless" and don't do it. However, the classmate, who may not be as smart as you are sits their ass down and writes them, thus getting an A. Or imagine the student who has half the raw talent or ability but works diligently each day and is organized and manages to get decent grades equivalent to your own. These are what you call good students. They sit, listen, attend class every day, study, organize their lives and are prolific doers of what needs to be done. When combined with the other 3 pillars, a good student is unstoppable and makes up the small percentage of folk who maintain 3.8 to 4.0 averages while still running every other organization on campus.

Of course there are other factors you could argue are more important than these 4. But I feel if you have these qualities, you can almost punch your ticket into the upper echelon of academia. It takes a while to get all of them and some are gifted with certain qualities more than others, but we all have the ability to improve them if we really want to. So get on it and get better.

Understanding Humility Part 1

Understanding Humility


I have always believed my most valuable revelations, lessons if you will, have come in extreme times of suffering. It seems the only time my ego is open to damage, my mind to any sorts of useful or permanent change, is when I am nearing the end of the proverbial rope. Though one might think this sort of dangerous learning will shorten my opportunities to practice new found “techniques” on life, I find more value in them because of the circumstances surrounding their origins most times--essentially the necessity of these lessons’ application for the sake of my continued existence. In other words, adapt or die. No lesson are the aforementioned beliefs more evident in my life then my learning to be humble. Of all the values and life skills I’ve attained over the years, humility undoubtedly is the most versatile. It has given me unparalleled flexibility in dealing with people, obstacles, and myself. The latter in a less pleasant manner, but humility helps nonetheless to keep me grounded in reality, rather than believe my twisted and ignorant ideals of invincibility are based in any true part of living.

Humility begins to mean something before we, as humans, even know what “meaning” is. I remember as a child talking back to my parents, telling white lies, sharing, all those things, the fundamental need that existed to engage in such activities. You can’t do them without thinking outside of yourself, considering your place in a bigger social order. Authority has no meaning unless one knows humility’s place. Guilt and reflection upon the consequences of deception require empathy, another byproduct of humility. Sharing one’s joy, material, or knowledge requires an understanding of how you can be of value to others rather yourself. Humility has always been at the base of everyday, useful interaction. My childhood minister always preached to me to be humble when I’d get angry when it was my turn to serve the cookies after bible study. I was the smartest person in the class and I had no interest in serving anyone, not even God. I was mean to all the kids and if they weren’t padding my ego with compliments, I didn’t care to be around them. I had no idea what he meant when he said “the same people you see going up the ladder are the same you see coming down.” It was only a matter of time before I would learn what that meant.

But to consider how humility works to reveal itself it what intrigues me. In order for me to truly contemplate what role its played in my life, I have to consider the most important transitions and periods of my existence. When my father died, I was an arrogant freshman in college. I, back then, didn’t care for memories of my childhood and that unfortunately included all recollections of my horrid upbringing, the ghettos and the gangsters, the visions of apathy that ran rampant through the ravaged neighborhoods I lived in. So many Black men and women all dying from the inside, lacking the motivation necessary to lift themselves up, would rot in that place. I despised all parts of poverty. It created in me a seemingly positive bitterness toward underachieving and fostered the beginnings of my self perception--I believed myself better than all of that mess and everything that was poor, poverty or pathetic. The rage I felt through those cold nights with no heat, the ridicule I endured because I valued an education, the pain and anger I felt when my father would demand my respect when he didn’t even work for a living, made me into a monster.

to be continued....

Theories and Thoughts--Connecting the Dots

I sit and wonder. I ponder things and dream of days that haven't or may not come. What makes this day interesting is the current stream of thought. An interesting yet obvious fact of life. If I think about where I am today, where I was yesterday and where I might be tomorrow, I see an inevitable connection defined by a series of decisions (or lack thereof) I make. And when broken down even further, moment to moment decisions affect each other in an exponential fashion. All in all taking into account each moment of each day and how it will affect the next eliminates the danger in dreaming too much. Why fall into some lofty idea of the future, dread the past, or be sad in the present thinking of all of them when I can simply satisfy the conditions of this day. Isn't that hard enough?

By being productive this moment and achieving my immediate goals, I inevitably affect the next moment in my life. That affect will be a positive one because I made a positive decision the moment before. I have affected my past, present and future simultaneously. I won't worry about anything because worry isn't productive and it wastes time by any standards. I also won't be naive and believe I won't falter sometimes and do unproductive things but I will not dwell in them. I understand myself and what I want to do. If I don't understand, I will seek to understand through acknowledging my dreams and goals from moment to moment but not looking further than the moments I control (presumably not beyond the immediate future).

I will strive for peace and relaxation so that I don't have unnecessary baggage and I don't lose efficiency in my actions. I will generate positivity so that my future interactions with people are accounted for by my present contact with them. I will exist in eternity and live the first and last day of my life at the same time.

The Greatest to Ever Do it Part 1: Kobe Bryant

You should always strive to be the best at everything you do. Don't take any prisoners and never, ever let someone tell you they are better than you at anything. Many might say I'm arrogant for thinking this way, but here's how I see it. My competitive spirit extends into every arena of my life--it dictates my approach to each and every challenge I come across. Muhammad Ali said "I'm the greatest. I said that before I even knew I was" and went on to become the single greatest athlete ever. His mind was already wired to believe he was the best. That became an undeniable truth to him. From there his brain automatically worked to support his positive self image. I'm reading Psycho-Cybernetics now, an excellent book that talks about developing positive self images and how your mind acts to fulfill those beliefs without compromise. You should pick it up. Because I see no task as impossible and believe myself to be capable of doing any and all things, I'm able to cultivate a personality that accepts challenges, values learning and knowledge, and it's wired in me to always separate myself from the masses.


That was the premise for this new series of post-- The Greatest To Ever Do It.Each Week I'll post material on one of my role models and discuss why I try to model my self image after their own. I'll discuss how they demonstrate the power of purpose and confidence in life.




Ok, Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge sports fan. Quite frankly, it's been a dream of mine to be able to play professional football (of course this will never happen lol) And basketball has been a hobby of mine for some years. I'd say I'm decent, but honestly when you're on, you're on.

But on to my point, this week's entry is on the Black Mamba, the assassin Kobe Bryant. He epitomizes hard work and determination and though he's had to deal with haters and a few mistakes in life, his drive to be the best took him from a High School phenom to one of the best to ever do it on the court. Recently he won his first championship as the leader of his team, the Los Angeles Lakers, climbing from the bottom of the barrel after three championships playing behind Shaq and now he's on top again. He's dedicated himself to perfecting every facet of his game and is widely regarded as the best all around player in today's NBA. When he's on the court, he dominates and that's all there is to it. He has no heart when it comes to competition and his sole purpose is to win. He doesn't live by the philosophy "give it your best and win or lose, you'll be happy". HE WANTS TO WIN. That's how I feel about what I do. Whether it's Scrabble, a pick up game of basketball, a writing contest, applying to college, a class I'm taking, doesn't matter--in my mind, I believe I can do that task better than anyone and will do all I can to confirm that belief. If you're not a kobe fan after watching these vids, something is wrong.

Relationships and Emotional Security: Avoiding Heartbreak

No one can make you angry without your permission

Fundamental in every bad relationship, every broken friendship is emotional damage. I've wondered, like every other person, where the fault may lie in an ended relationship, what moments could have been changed, what words taken back, but the truth is relationships run on the exchange of emotional access. Our relationships with ourselves and others depend on specific emotional connections that allow the potential for either life long connections or horribly awful broken relationships and friendships. Many times these factors exist without our even choosing to acknowledge them.

One who begs to be loved, begs to be hurt

The first thing one must consider is their understanding of their own emotions. The key to any good relationship is self awareness. If you're honest with yourself when reflecting on life and love, you will have an advantage when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Specifically, we need to know the "ins and outs" of our personal views and opinions, our desires and where we feel satisfaction in the form of emotional security needs to come from. Many relationships are bad simply because we seek security in external sources. We cannot hope to gain acceptance from others without accepting ourselves, and it hurts that much more when another person breaks your heart because YOU weren't the one holding it together--they were. That is, in many cases, seeking validation in the form of approval, reinforcement or anything other than general encouragement from another person. Its a one way ticket to disaster. If we are unstable in our understanding of ourselves, then granting another person the power to affect our emotions or even our perceptions could lead to severe emotional scarring or breakdown. Allowing another person to influence your perception of yourself, your life or your views is dangerous in that it gives another person the power to control you and subsequently hurt you through either premeditated manipulation or inadvertent (or reckless) damage of our emotional security. Double check your relationship if you are ever feeling inadequate, unappreciated, slighted or demeaned.

Most predators don't know they are--same goes for prey

Secondly, understand that even though there are people who purposely seek to hurt others, the majority of the time, relationships are reflections of personalities. The only way for a relationship to work is if both people are aware of the emotional connections they share with another. One must know that they have been given access to the other person's emotional pathways. From there we must be considerate of such and acknowledge the effect our actions have on the other person's emotions. If a person is naturally selfish, then they are likely to be inconsiderate of other people's emotions and any power they may have over someone's psyche. Because of that, they have the potential to hurt people. In addition, people unaware of their own emotions are particularly susceptible to unexpected responses when others violate or challenge their emotional well being. More often than not, those who are selfish or seem so, may be seeking emotional security in others and it's especially bad to have two people like this together. People seeking validation in each other, on top of personal emotional instability and lack of consideration for others can lead to particularly bad relationships. It may seem rather abstract or specific, but you'd be surprised how many emotionally unstable people are dealing with each other on a daily basis. As humans, it takes a great deal of effort to come to terms with self control and self perception.

Know your heart and guard every heart with all knowledge.

So basically, all I ask is that you be aware of your emotional dealings with others as well as how you understand your own emotions. Know yourself and be content with your own views and perceptions before allowing another person access to your emotions. Ideally, you will have two emotionally secure individuals who understand each other on an emotional level and take care not to damage such delicate parts of the soul. They will act to mend and nourish, not destroy. Pay attention to personalities and how they usually reflect the level of emotional awareness a person has, or lack thereof.If one thinks of their emotional security, and the emotional connections we share, many broken hearts can be avoided.

Why these men continue to dog you out.......

As if understanding men was anything close to complicated....please...we are quite the simple creatures. However, somehow, some way, there are ladies that continue to let themselves be driven bat crazy by men engaged in fits of deception and whose priorities are all screwed up. Some men want sex, some want a mother (as Sweet Z so aptly put it) and some don't know what they want but are enamored with the idea of getting YOUR precious, valuable attention. And in the end, everyone's all upset.

Honestly ladies, if your needs aren't being met in a relationship, it's not the man's fault, it's YOURS. All I'm asking is that you take the time to figure out what kind of man you truly desire and instead of spending time flirting and wondering if he likes you, or jumping at the opportunity to get those superficial needs met, CHALLENGE these men and be sure they are putting in the effort to understand you as a person during the friendship stage. Sure you'll run a few off, but oh well, they aren't worth your time. I assure you it's worth it to focus on what a guy does for you on those deeper levels than what he can do in the short term.

And it goes both ways. Not only should you be sure the guys are thinking right, but you should have a pretty good idea of what you want before you get to the store ya know. The mark of maturity is how you've taken your life and used it to figure out where your future is and not just living in the moment. Bettering yourself is the best way to find a good man because a good man will see it, acknowledge it and appreciate it. The REALLY good men will recognize where you are in life and do everything they can to push you further. Of course that can't be done unless......you guessed it......they are doing something with their damn selves.

If you neglect to understand who you are and what you want, don't expect a man to know or care about you very much beyond his needs. And I promise a relationship with a man who's worried about himself will only lead to disaster. But you knew that already? Right?


So the next time you ask yourself if he likes you....truly ask yourself if you like him....

The Art of Confidence (An Ode to Excellence)

To look in someone's eyes and tell them you're the shit. With not an ounce of regret, never backing down from an endless waltz to stardom. I can't say enough about those individuals who see their presence as the key to the nation's indignant rise to power and ultimately the base of its downfall. Try looking in the mirror and seeing someone else for a change. Not yourself, but the ones who gave you the right to say you're better. That ability is nothing without the knowledge of truth and the realization that better isn't necessarily indicative of relevant qualities. Qualities such as the ability to see clearly and apply lessons to life, "street smartz" and all that jazz is what really makes up an all around person.

But then you humble yourself. Suddenly all those people who hated you for being an asshole run you clean the fuck over and have no mercy in telling you that you should have made more of yourself. Who the hell are you to tell me I should have been greater? That my life isn't what it should be? Unfortunately I see this problem a lot these days. People getting caught up in what others think and losing that cutthroat attitude, that belief that they can outperform anybody, they lose their source of motivation. They lose the confidence necessary to overcome life's obstacles. They can't exist knowing that they have underachieved.


So how do you solve this issue. Asshole or asinine? Easy. Asshole. I'd pick being an overconfident jack over a pathetic walking sob story any day. THe time it takes to cultivate the true asshole is really admirable. Dedication to the cause of being the best 24 hours a day, doing everything in your power to achieve fame, not caring who's there to try to tell you you aren't "that" significant. No, I really AM the shit. That simple. Don't settle for less because you step on a few toes here and there and you may take it personally if someone doesn't like you because you're doing something to show them constantly that you are and will not be a failure. This reassurance is necessary for people like us. better believe, the assholes have more fun in life. They enjoy themselves for the sake of itself. They learn to love quicker, admiring their own positive qualities and overstating them. They make it painfully obvious that they will not be victims of circumstance. They control any and everything in existence, employing the powers of manipulation and crude honesty and humor to move people. Persuasion is so much easier nowadays because lesser folk can't fathom my thoughts, so they agree to them unwittingly. I call them pathetic to their faces and they believe me. Humble fools really.

The moral of the story is simple. Being wary to people's feelings is overrated and opens the door for failure. Maybe you can be nice and successful at the same time. If so, more power to you. But the other 95 percent of us will continue to aggravate, irritate, and remind people that we demand their attention and it is the focal point of our lives. I won't be anybody's bitch anymore. I won't care about your feelings or give a damn if you judge me. I'm the shit and I don't care what anybody has to say about it.

Sincerely, Rico

Holding on to Pride, Clinging on to Death

Holding onto Pride, Clinging onto Death

I must be honest. It is exceptionally difficult to maintain sanity in this world. We are expected to love and treat everyone with some measure of kindness-- to succeed in the midst of endless distraction, varying mental states, and a twisted system of existence predicated on social constructs drenched in contradiction. Some of us are held to religious beliefs and goals that make it dangerous to follow your emotional, some may even argue logical, instincts for fear of eternal damnation ( I'm talking about killing yourself)...All in all, this makes for a very angry and confused population. You may not feel the world is this bad, this heinous, but these issues do exist...for each and every one of us.

I never was a happy person, but after a couple years of dealing with some really iffy situations, I became fed up with the universe. I didn't like it but it was the only way I knew then to deal with my circumstances--by shutting people off. In a place full of unreliable, unmotivated, dirty, cheating, lying and dishonest individuals, I found maybe a handful of people who looked out for my well being. I appreciated them, but also scorned the fact that I needed them to pull through my situation. It's a feeling unlike any pain I've ever endured. I valued independence more than life itself. My pride was the only thing keeping me alive. For my sake, I hoped the people who screwed me didn't live to see my success, because I most certainly would never, EVER, forget. I was engulfed in a vengeful rage, an unwavering determination to triumph that kept me from releasing all that hate in one fit of crushing violence. I knew the satisfaction from such a thing would be great for that moment, but would inevitably be followed by self pity and ultimately death. So I was faced with a decision to either be ruled by pride and sentenced to death, or find some other means of peace.

In light of that, I pondered how I might stop being ruled by pride. The first thing I realized was pride was the most inefficient means of overcoming whatever issues I had in life. If I couldn't accept help, then I'd try to do everything on my own and that's just ignorant. For a while I thought independence meant being doing everything alone, but independence, as I see it now, is maintaining the ability to make decisions for yourself. Letting those decisions be ruled by anger and emotions was not independence at all. In fact I was more bound then than ever. Understanding that was my first step towards becoming a realist. I decided that the circumstances around me were only the foundations of a blueprint for effective solutions. Now I take everything for what it is and deal with it accordingly, doing my best to maintain a level head.

But I still had to deal with my views on people. This lead me to the second thing I realized-- Some forms of pride are good. Popular culture seems to have embraced this "swag" concept, but I'm not talking about it in a superficial sense. For me, swag is your individual bottom line. It's the part of your personality that operates constant and independent of any and all outside influences. It's very important because the people whom you get along with without compromising your fundamental personality traits, are the people who vibe with you the best. This also saves you a lot of trouble in the romantic realm. The trick is finding your "swag"--but that's another discussion for another day. Lately I've realized not a lot of people are truly comfortable with who they are as individuals. That's why other people's being inconsiderate has such a damaging effect on them.

I'll discuss more of these concepts in later posts. but in the meantime, BE REAL WITH YOURSELF IF NO ONE ELSE.

The Birth of Perspective

I have always valued the importance of creative space. I personally believe each and every person has thoughts, bred from experience and imagination, that lie dormant behind the veil that is "real life". I find it ironic to choose that term because in my opinion, real life isn't very real at all. Most of us spend our time shaping our personalities to fit a particular medium from day to day, all for the purpose of keeping our most honest beliefs to ourselves. Is it because we are afraid of what people might think? Perhaps we don't understand our thoughts enough to articulate or act on them? Maybe we're in denial that our true selves are even hidden at all--whatever the case may be, this blog is my effort to express myself and my thoughts on the many subjects of the world--particularly finding purpose, understanding people and interactions, love, emotion and the rawest sense of feeling that can be gained from living. Of course these topics are broad, but somehow perspective and the heart are able to sift through even the most complicated of issues and leave us with something I like to call "The Real*st Perspective*

So you can kind of get an idea of what to expect, I'll tell you a bit about myself and my way of thinking. I was born in Columbia, SC, raised in the inner city and have had my fair share of trials in life. There's no need to go into any specific detail but the important thing is the lessons I've learned along the way (and am still learning). Frankly, I've grown to find the world just a tad bit irritating for my tastes--I've always felt the people around me are constantly putting up a front--for what reason, I do not know. I've been in a lot of relationships, seen and done many things that have all influenced my philosophy and approach to living. At this point, I am a realist by label, but I would never be silly enough to believe that encompasses everything about me. I do believe however, that thinking in the ideal is a one way ticket to disappointment. That does not mean I am a pessimist, and it does not mean I'm opposed to thinking positive for positive results. It simply means I see the situations in my past and present, the facts rather, as unavoidable factors in how I decide to live from one moment to the next. I do not ignore these facts and believe anyone who does for whatever reason is living in a fantasy and fantasies are just that--fantasies.

I do dream though. I have aspirations just like you do. I want to be successful in every sense of the word and find complete satisfaction in my career, love life, and activities. I want to meet new people who think like I do and some who think nothing like me. I want to learn new ways of communication and understand things for their true meaning, not what society believes. This blog is a chronicling of those experiences. My creative output is about as random as life itself.

More than anything, attending college as a first generation student really exposed me to the foundation of what I believe life to mean. Within the span of four years, I've lost everything and gained it back, redefined my views on love, met some of the most memorable people I think I'll ever meet, dismissed religion and sought it again, developed a bitter resentment for the middle class, regained a sense of family, questioned God's existence, reinvented myself a number of times and that's only to name a few. As an English/Creative Writing major, I may have written a thing or two in that time as well. The point is I feel it's my duty to myself and others to share my thoughts on how all of this fits together and where the hell I'm going with my life. This blog is the latest of many spaces meant to achieve a sensible conclusion about why people exist and what I can do to make my and your existence more purposeful. Quite bold of me, ya think?

It is my hope you'll find something useful in my posts--honestly I only want people to think and if I'm really lucky, you'll share your thoughts through comments or even posts of your own (If you want to be a contributor, just hit me up). But more than anything, I've given myself a much needed release from the monotony of day to day living. This is my canvas and writing will always be my most reliable means of creating a world where things make sense TO ME.

eNjoY : )