The Line Between Friends and Lovers: The Case of the Ex

The line between friends and lovers: The Case of the Ex


Whether it be an ex, a childhood friend, someone you just met, or whatever, we constantly find ourselves caught up in the classic situation of not knowing "what we are", "whether we should be doing this" and all that jazz.

The Ex

I constantly find myself talking, chilling just trying to kick it with the ex because nobody wants to be fighting and sh*t just because a relationship couldn't work out. I tried it and there are certain things you have to remember if you plan on being friends.

1) Don't fool yourself into thinking your relationship never happened.

2)Just because yall still f*ckin', don't mean yall still together.

3) Don't get in "what if" conversations

4) Don't talk about whose fault it is you broke up. Say it was mutual if someone asks.

5) If you and your ex's friendship fails, be careful about communicating with your ex's friends, family, or associates.


6) Don't date each other's friends. What's a friend?

*Anyone with below 2 degrees of separation.

*Any friend who actively hung out with the ex,

*that one friend you know you wanna talk to and you know they wanna talk to you, but it would blow up.

*friends who aren't friends with your ex anymore as a result of a fallout

*anybody your ex would "magically" turn into a friend, even if its untrue.


7) Keep your business to yourself.

8) Keep physical contact to a minimum (if you can help it)

9) Don't immediately get a rebound

10) Don't say you love them

Why these men continue to dog you out.......

As if understanding men was anything close to complicated....please...we are quite the simple creatures. However, somehow, some way, there are ladies that continue to let themselves be driven bat crazy by men engaged in fits of deception and whose priorities are all screwed up. Some men want sex, some want a mother (as Sweet Z so aptly put it) and some don't know what they want but are enamored with the idea of getting YOUR precious, valuable attention. And in the end, everyone's all upset.

Honestly ladies, if your needs aren't being met in a relationship, it's not the man's fault, it's YOURS. All I'm asking is that you take the time to figure out what kind of man you truly desire and instead of spending time flirting and wondering if he likes you, or jumping at the opportunity to get those superficial needs met, CHALLENGE these men and be sure they are putting in the effort to understand you as a person during the friendship stage. Sure you'll run a few off, but oh well, they aren't worth your time. I assure you it's worth it to focus on what a guy does for you on those deeper levels than what he can do in the short term.

And it goes both ways. Not only should you be sure the guys are thinking right, but you should have a pretty good idea of what you want before you get to the store ya know. The mark of maturity is how you've taken your life and used it to figure out where your future is and not just living in the moment. Bettering yourself is the best way to find a good man because a good man will see it, acknowledge it and appreciate it. The REALLY good men will recognize where you are in life and do everything they can to push you further. Of course that can't be done unless......you guessed it......they are doing something with their damn selves.

If you neglect to understand who you are and what you want, don't expect a man to know or care about you very much beyond his needs. And I promise a relationship with a man who's worried about himself will only lead to disaster. But you knew that already? Right?


So the next time you ask yourself if he likes you....truly ask yourself if you like him....