"The Secret" of Success

I attended what seemed to be an open house for this condo in downtown Atlanta with a photographer friend of mine. What is amazing about this guy is he doesn't have much outside of his insanely positive outlook on life. What's strange though is he has single-handedly generated a network that includes some of the most successful people in Atlanta. Not to mention, he has his own website, business, and will host his first exhibit later on today. At first I was a hater, no lie, because I couldn't wrap my mind around his success. It was simply baffling how someone could generate so much positive energy and luck when from the outside in, things looked much worse.

More After the Jump

Respect and Achievement

So I'm beginning to notice some significant trends when it comes to perceptions of different degrees. I've been going back and forth lately on whether to pursue an online MBA. Obviously these programs have become ubiquitous as of late and I really wanted some opinion on whether it was worth my time. As far as I'm concerned, it's just a credential.A credential that could help me land some sort of respectable job or actually help me build a real career. So long as I get it from a respectable source (accredited and official), I saw no reason not to. Unfortunately, the friends I asked seemed bent on steering me away from it.

More After the Jump

Mind Games

I originally created this space to share my writing with the world. I'm no longer interested in that. I tire of the fabrication. My motivations for writing in the beginning (some 8 years ago) were based around reconciling the negative thoughts in my head. Much of what I posted here has been less personal, less real. Though it was useful to whoever did read it, it didn't reflect the reality I've been living in and perceiving. It was simply my effort to advise myself on how to live and only included as much as I was willing to share with the world. It wasn't raw....

Well....this is.

My mind is in a place it hasn't been since I was much younger. The rage and frustration I feel right now brings back bitter memories of home, of South Carolina. I'm reminded of the utter helplessness and anger I felt when I looked around and saw nothing but failure and decay. I've always resented poverty. I still do to this day. I resented everything it represented. For me, it was my stubborn father refusing to do anything with himself and the hatred that created between us.The stagnation he was content with made my blood boil. When he died, I tricked myself into loving him, into appreciating the love he had for me. Deep down however, I knew those thoughts of hate still lingered. Poverty was my mother. This woman--an emotional wreck who herself was engulfed in a cycle of bad and irresponsible parenting--is the source of the imbalances in my brain. She still doesn't know how to love and her psychological state, like mine, continues to ravage any hope she could ever have of establishing a meaningful connection with the world. I want to love her. But the facts keep staring at me. She doesn't have any concept whatsoever of progression. She is content with poverty and continues to demonstrate an unwillingness to go the extra mile even when her youngest son is busting his ass to make something of himself. I pushed that hatred to the back of my mind and turned "lack of support" into "pride in my independence". Who the fuck was I kidding?

The list goes on. Much of that negative energy I was able to parlay into something somewhat productive. It began with running away. To the outside world, it was a logical decision to attend college. Let me make this clear. The concept of higher education, the premise that by spending countless years in a classroom, I'll be able to achieve anything, is bogus. I came to school because the classroom was the only place I had ever recognized as a "safe zone". It provided me with a social position, creative outlets, and affirmation that there was indeed some potential for me in the real world. However, college is the most inefficient means of progression I have ever experienced. Nothing about it has helped me. Everything about it has hurt me. That is all I have to say on the subject.

After getting my degree, a process in and of itself, I was faced with perhaps the biggest challenge of my 22 year existence. I now possessed a piece of paper that was supposedly desirable enough to jump start my career and ensure I'd leave poverty in the past where it belonged. Wrong. I've struggled more since graduating than I have at any point in life. Graduate programs accepted me and rescinded their decisions because of silly mistakes. While my peers achieved, I struggled to pay bills and rebuild credit that had been torn apart as a result of (you guessed it) college. I witnessed the love of my life leave and pursue a career, a path, parental resources in tow, while I wondered where I would be living for the next...the next...shit I didn't even know. I slaved over resumes and cover letters all replete with experience and skills while my peers were handed jobs and opportunities. You think I got called back? Sure I did---for jobs working 7.25 an hour doing stuff I could have done out of the womb. Keep in mind, I've edited and written whole publications, mobilized throngs of people, outperformed and out-shined nearly anyone I've ever competed with, and all I have to show for it is unpaid bills and frustration. Someone tell me why in the FUCK did I go to college? Is this what we have to offer little black males trappin on the corner? Is this included in those lifetime earnings charts they used to show us? If so, you can keep this shit..

Pardon my rant. The issue here is I'm beginning to wonder if I've been living a lie. My passions--writing, acting and music--what am I to do with them? Surely, disregarding my real world obligations to pursue these things is impractical, but perhaps so was going to college to help with those passions. I'm forced to question whether I have talent or ability at all. Nothing has come of my marketing efforts and I've been actively engaged for the better part of four years now. Have I made too many mistakes? Did I overestimate my margin for error? Is it God? Am I supposed to continue my spiritual struggle with Him? So many questions and so little answers.

Now the beauty of all this is I'm fully aware of my own power in making this situation right. I am deathly aware of the work required to fix this piece of shit life of mine. I simply don't have the direction and am quickly losing the motivation. After working so damn hard and being behind the eight ball for so damn long, I'm wondering if pride is enough to hold onto this time or have I indeed bitten off way more than I can chew, expecting this life to improve? No...I can beat it and I will beat it. Until I die, I will believe in my own legend. I will believe that with time, all this will be worth it. I just have to last....

Thoughts and Dreams: Detox Vol.3

Creating the World You Desire

Many of us have particular desires in life. There are things we hope to achieve: goals and ideals that spring from our attempts to reconcile our future and who we currently know ourselves to be. Also important to this equation, this goal mechanism that is our dreams, is our ability to blur the line between fantasy and reality. It is some regard magical to conceptualize something that exists only as a thought and systematically build toward its entry into the real world. It is our talent for making things happen that determines how much power we have over our future. We must make something out of nothing---it is, shall we say, the proverbial hustle?

Now in order to properly discuss this matter of making your dreams into reality, it is imperative we know what factors play a role in this process. To put it simply, there are four meaningful questions you need to ask yourself. Who am I? What can I do? What do I want? How do I get there? The answers to those questions will undoubtedly act as first steps on the path to achieving your innermost desires and attaining true happiness.

Who Am I?

Such a broad question may seem intimidating at first. But the answer isn't as hard as you might think. Everyone can benefit from taking just a few minutes to step outside themselves and see the package that is "you". It's as simple as finding a quiet spot to meditate, putting on your favorite, relaxing tune and asking some questions. How do you feel about yourself? Are you where you hoped to be at this point? Did you even have a goal? Are you single? in love? Are you religious? Take a moment to place yourself on the human spectrum of thought. What are your political views? Are you aware of what's happening around you? What makes you cry? Laugh? Sigh? How do you enjoy yourself? The questions can range from a myriad of places. It doesn't matter if you ask every relevant question (obviously you can't), but what this process does is help to organize the many thoughts in your head concerning who you are as a person. We live each day reacting to so much. So many get so caught up in the daily routine that after a while, we forget who the hell we are. Without taking the time to nurture the individual, without practical self evaluation, how is it we can expect to come into our true selves? our true life's purpose? How can you be happy, if you don't even know what things are near and dear to your heart? I say this only to encourage a bit of reflection. The events of your past, down to the moments passing now, each had something to offer to your present person. Know your inventory. It'll be much easier to sell later if you do.

The question of Who am I relates to self-image and perception. Generating positive self-image from within before it can be manipulated by external factors is essential to realizing your dreams. Insecurities are literally points about yourself of which you aren't completely sure about. Questioning yourself objectively and learning both the positive and negative things about yourself can help direct self-improvement efforts and encourage mental health. It can also improve your relationships with others. The confidence you have in yourself is directly proportional to an understanding of your personal qualities.

What Can I Do?

This is just another way of asking what is it you have to offer? Outside of job interviews, personal statements, applications, and all those crafted forms of selling yourself, have you ever truly thought about what you can do? What are your talents? Abilities? Hobbies and the like? Asking these questions outside the context of selling yourself will generate much more genuine answers. I'd advise taking a second to write down all the things you feel you're good at or would be interested in trying or doing. You might not have done it in years, but perhaps you're an excellent artist? A gymnast? An actor or entertainer? Decorative much? A wiz for computers and the internet? A technology buff? A giver? A great friend? Taking the time to figure these things out will do wonders for not only your self image, but it will make shaping your short term and long term goals for life much easier. By simply taking the time to stay true to your talents and gifts, you drastically increase the effectiveness of your role in planning your life. You are not simply here to exist. You are here to live and do the things you love to do. It is up to you to follow these next steps to ensure you're able to make a living while still crafting a life that is both rewarding and satisfying.



What do I Want?

By now, you should have a pretty good idea of what things drive you. Reflect on your answers to the first two questions: Who am I and what can I do? If you were diligent in considering those matters, you have a nice concept of your values and convictions, your interests, as well as your abilities. These are the things that make you unique. Cherish and value these essential qualities. Think of them every time you make a move in life. Part of improving the quality of your life is establishing a firm base at home---in the depths of your mentality. A person well versed in the things that interest them has much more to offer to the world around them. A person who stands firm in their convictions and pays attention to what they believe in has tapped into the ultimate source of inner strength---that of personal will and the desire to protect one's mind and heart. It is this sort of passion that created the likes of Dr. Martin King and Mother Theresa. It created Toni Morrison and Bill Gates. It created you. Knowing where you stand and what matters to you is the first step to greatness. It gives you something to fall back on. I remember during one of the most trying times in my life, the only thing powerful enough to motivate me to live was my singular belief I was destined to achieve. I told myself that everyday. I had passions, like flames, already set ablaze; No rain could kill that fire.

Be sure to consider both the "who" and the "what"? By that I mean life is more than just the philosophy. It is the application. What you actually do is still the single most effective means to progress. With that said, make a conscious effort to include your abilities and personal gifts in everything you do. Find jobs that match your interests and maximize the opportunity for you to contribute to society. I don't mean community service (although that could very well be your passion), I mean knowing that you have something valuable to express and making sure you have the adequate platform. The money will come. What's important here is the quality of your life. I can't tell you how frustrated I've been lately wondering if graduate school is really where I need to be going next. Of course it seems the best option because society values education and stability, but the fact is if I feel my creativity is stifled working my 9--5, even if I'm my own boss,make my own hours and have an awesome position on paper, it means nothing if I'm not doing the things I love to do, expressing the feelings I want to express, living the life I want to live. I work in higher education and plan to attend graduate school for student counseling. No doubt, I love impacting students' lives. I don't have to stop doing that work. But I owe it to the students I work for to come 100%. So it's vital I'm happy and stable mentally. So even if my current career path isn't everything I want, there is nothing stopping me from doing the things I love in my spare time. Many cheat themselves because they invest their energy into one thing, usually external. It could be a relationship, a job, a family issue, anything. However, always consider your life as a canvas and the act of living is the paintbrush. You, my friend, are the color. Everything you think and subsequently do adds color to your life and contributes to the bigger picture. Some colors will show more than others, but no one color makes the entire portrait. You owe it to yourself to know what colors you have and paint the picture you want to see.

I say that to emphasize the importance of knowing what you want. Use what you know about yourself to shape your future goals and never hesitate to reach high. By taking the steps I've outlined here, you're already in the elite. Most will never take control of their lives and their minds will remain perpetually in existential purgatory.





How Do I Get There?

The final stage....we've engaged in self-reflection and have a firm idea of our personal perspective and inventory. We know what we want and what we care about. The only thing left now is the magic.

Essential to achieving anything is the realization we are all human. Each of us have a particular set of circumstances to deal with, our own self image. We all have feelings, dreams, hopes and aspirations. With the media constantly sensationalizing the lives of others and glamorizing the human experience, it can seem much easier to assume our lot in life is final. For many in poverty, college is but a distant illusion. The middle class dreams of a world where posturing and semantics can be replaced with authentic and genuine concern for the world. The best and brightest minds even, rely on fantastical concepts of what might be and ask "why not" to drive their pursuit of knowledge. My point is we all have dreams. Those dreams are rooted in the same ground, the same earth. Each of us has this one earth as our canvas, and regardless of what you might think, one picture to be painted. We are all connected. Upon that premise, know that there is nothing in life you cannot do. There is nothing fundamentally different between you and the most successful role model you have. The only difference is circumstance, action and opportunity--all things easily rectified.

Second, once you understand there is nothing you cannot do, it's simply a matter of investing the time and patience into making your dreams reality. Setting actual goals and writing them down, marking them off as you achieve them will help build confidence and carry you through more difficult tasks. Break your goals down into realistic parts. I mean realistic inasmuch as you organize your path to achievement. There's nothing wrong with wanting the most from life. But understand every goal has its price and you must be prepared to do what you have to in order to succeed.

Third, know the terrain and equip yourself with the knowledge necessary to plan effectively in life. Once you know what you care about and what passions you possess, invest in them. This doesn't necessarily mean monetary efforts either. By investing in your talents and interests and learning about them daily, you are investing in you. The rapid changes in technology now enable us to learn more than ever about practically any subject. No longer are the times when books and schools were the only means of education. Google and Youtube have consolidated more media than we could have imagined. Even video games now are capable of entertaining us in ways we couldn't have dreamed of just ten years ago. We can get our news and updates instantly from our cell phones and learn all there is to know about anyone from the comfort of our desks or couches. Invest in learning how to research and use this technology. It has done wonders for me. The more you know, the greater the chance you'll put yourself in a position to capitalize on rare opportunities. Also, it makes the world much smaller when you follow the latest trends in areas such as politics, entertainment, or education. Being aware is half the battle. It enables you to network effectively and direct your efforts more efficiently.

Conclusion

Using the power of learning and self reflection, suddenly the line between where you are and where you want to be isn't so clear. What I have attempted to argue is that by harnessing the power of self--perception and self--image, we can become better people. Better in the sense we are more aware of what makes us each valuable. From that point, we can invest in cultivating our true selves and using that understanding to strengthen our resolve, resiliency and passion in life. By recognizing and acknowledging our desires and interests in all our endeavors, we can better the quality of our life and work. By organizing our thoughts and setting goals which can be broken down into small steps, we can achieve more. By educating ourselves, we are more prepared. It is my belief that by addressing these essential areas, we can all be great. Is it simply a matter of action that is keeping you from achieving your destiny? Yes. No matter what you do, you must do something. I hope I've given you some things to think about as you continue your efforts.

We are still in the diagnostic stages of the Detox, so expect many thoughts. Lately, spiritual and creative forces have been at work in my life. The Detox is already opening up my mind to positive vibes. A friend and I recently had a conversation concerning God and His existence, this world, good and evil, all that type stuff....I have no idea why, but the dots came together. It all made sense since I was able to reconcile both my role and His in my daily life. I was right about one thing---everything I do is entirely up to me. I can make choices,any choices and each has a consequence. I've always believed bad things just happen and the whole "never more than you can bear" thing got pretty old pretty fast. But now I understand that God created and shaped this universe for reasons I could never comprehend (not that I've tried lately since I was pretty much done with it) and we simply inhabit that space with free will. That will separates good choices from bad ones. Sometimes God steps in and provides situations and people that might help us along (or give us a wake up call). From that point, it's all us.

I maintain my views about religion and the bible, but I understand those now as reflections of different time and place, where people like Jesus were chillin' in the cut while slavery, polygamy, crucifixion, and all kinds of other olden stuff went on. Jesus was a bad mofo--this I have always known. However it's much easier for me to understand exactly why Jesus came now. I'd explain it, but I'm already bad about blogging so I gotta make it count.


THE LEAK EP

oK, so for some reason, the writer's block is gone, and I'm rapping like I was in high school. A week ago, I couldn't write a verse----I haven't slept in almost 48 hours because I come home to my makeshift studio (AKA a fast ass computer and knowing how to use mixing software) and lay down track after track after track.

Oops...almost forgot. Yeah I rap lol A lot....The thing is I have always loved rapping. It's the most raw medium for expressing oneself.


The link below is to some of my work. Some of it sounds a lil rough because I've refused to invest in this particular hobby for fear I'll fall into the same category as the people I talk shit about----another studio head with a dollar and a dream.........buuuut hey---that's one of my tracks on the leak, so I can relate. Listen!!!!! Bob ya heads and enjoy---it's good stuff.

Come Take A Ride With Me

http://www.zshare.net/audio/71219397680f3530/

Got a Dollar and a Dream

http://www.zshare.net/audio/7121950536f8517a/

Put You on the Met

http://www.zshare.net/audio/71219655a950c1e6/

Thoughts and Dreams: Detox Vol.1

Hello world--long time no see---

Pardon if I'm a bit antsy, but it's taking everything in me to not cop some cigs right now. I'll explain why I won't just go get them later. Lately, I've been growing anxious concerning the prospects of my future. I'm not at all confident I'm doing what needs to be done to move forward. Why? Quite frankly, because I'm a lazy fucking bum. There I said it. Henrico Antwan Norris--as it stands is a complete waste of space: too busy waiting for success to fall into his lap to get up and take control of his own life.

Over the past few weeks, I've grown increasingly disappointed with where I am in life. Sure, I'm 22 and some may feel I have plenty of time for a midlife crisis, but if being around Emory kids does anything to you, it reminds you that there is AlWAYS someone progressing. Always someone else working, applying, executing, or developing when I'm being lazy. I'm sorry, but the previous standards I had of simply exiting the hood are proving inadequate for my desired path.


I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why I'm feeling like such an underachiever. When did this start? That would undoubtedly help me figure out how to get over it. I took a step back and noticed that I've neglected to address my person for the better part of 2 years--perhaps longer. Understand that in order to mature properly, you've got to commit yourself to daily self evaluation (note NOT useless self criticism).

And thus we have the Thoughts and Dreams: Detox series. More for my own benefit than anything, I intend on chronicling the progress of my self improvement, by articulating the areas that have the most need and working my way toward becoming the person I want to be. This means setting goals; this means accepting the challenge of changing habits I've had for years. It will be uncomfortable, but it will also be rewarding and productive. Feel free to comment and add your perspectives---I plan on being quite candid throughout this process, so I'm sure to have different positions than most people on a number of issues.

Detox Step #1

The first and most important part of this detox process is establishing your base areas for improvement. It's important I take the time to think of areas in my life I am genuinely concerned about. I won't have as much chance for success if I focus my energy on improving things I don't think matter. So with that said, Let's list the areas I care most deeply about.......

• Health
• Finances and Essential Needs
• Values and Convictions
• Career Goals
• Leisure Time
• Education
• Creative Release
• Home Environment
• Love and Relationships
• Achievement
• My Self Perception
• Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections
• Coping with Stress
  

This list is ever changing and is in no way exhaustive. However, it provides a much needed starting point to affect change in the way I do things. Now, before we move forward, let's take out a couple of these bullets from above:

Love and Relationships
Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections


Notice these two areas deal with other people. So for now, we're going to put those on the back burner. It is vital I address the needs of "self" and my own person before incorporating others into my detox. In fact, short of this blog, I don't plan on involving others in this process to a large degree. I've deactivated any social networks for the time being. That's mainly because part of the detox is understanding who I am independent of people and other external factors.

Isolation may not be the best means for everyone, but it takes knowing what your needs are. I know many of my issues stem from comparing myself to other people for instance. Many of my self perception issues cause me to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. And of course without values and convictions, how can you truly add substance to your interactions with others. These are just a couple of examples, but essentially I want to make the point that REAL CHANGE STARTS FROM THE INSIDE, so take a break from the external pressure for a while and chill. Focus on doing your own thing and in time, we'll deal with everything else.




So I've taken the first step in this Detox and laid out what areas I want to improve. The next step is the diagnostic: an honest evaluation of how I'm doing in each of these areas and what will need to be done.

When Rico Gets Pissed 09--The Nigga Chronicles

From an actual conversation...........

Rico- What's wrong?

Dumb Bitch- ______ bein' stupid again...I asked him why he ain't call me and he got all mad at me and shit cuz he said he was "workin".

Rico-un huh...workin' where?

Dumb Bitch-I don't know--some shit up in the goddamn studio... And his baby mama in town, so he say he was chillin' with her...

Rico-....And u cool with that?

Dumb Bitch- I mean....

Rico- U's a dumb bitch.....


All bitches aint dumb ones, but you'd be surprised.....

I simply want to address a little problem I've noticed with the females I encounter and talk to...
pardon if I'm a bit rash because to be honest, this post hits very close to home because nothing frustrates an intellectual like myself more than ignorant people....I'm not being cocky.....well actually yes I am--I don't need anyone to tell me I represent the upper echelon when it comes to Black males.....but for some reason...ya know what, just listen

1) I think I said it once before, but women get too caught up in romanticism. Just because he strokes your ego every other sentence doesn't mean this nigga's worth it. I personally feel like women see an attractive guy and want to find a reason to like him, even though he ain't doin' a damn thing with his life, stay locked up or in some mess, got a baby mama, can't finish school or stay up in some damn studio, etc.--the list goes on. A friend of mine literally fell head over heels for some dude she met in the club just because he came at her with cheesy ass lines all the time--you know? Talkin' about how pretty your smile is, acting like he really cares about your day, the "harmless" flirting. As soon as he realized she wasn't givin' it up no time soon, he stopped talking to her. Damn...just a week ago, this boy said he was different--wanted to be patient and build a good friendship with you...guess he changed his damn mind. And I pray you don't fuck these conniving ass niggas. Words are just that--words. Actions speak louder and you have to hold these fools to higher standards than making you "feel" good through text messages or a couple dinners.

2) That leads me into the next issue I have with women and their standards. Find someone who has a least a little drive and determination, who isn't typical. The best type of men are the ones who actually think. Is the guy you're talking to a dreamer? Does he have ambition? Or does he just sit on his ass all day and claim he's makin' moves? You know the answer. I was shocked at how many beautiful, intelligent, working women fell for guys who had no degree of purpose in their lives. 95% of the time, these men were involved in music in some form or fashion. I don't think that shit's a coincidence. I have nothing against creativity--I do it too, but use some common sense---If five years from now(when you're not in school anymore) you can't admit what your man is doing to your friends at work, your parents or anybody you respect, then don't settle now. Don't even waste your time. I know you're saying "Five years? Damn!" But hey, if you can't see a long term relationship being built, then why are you bothering with him? You're a grown damn woman, so stop playing little childish games! How many studioheads you know makin' it happen? Is promoting your friends' events really a career or just an excuse to be at the damn club every other night? Is the money (if any) made from these endeavors being invested in worthwhile efforts? You'll find the answers to these questions usually make it clear whether your man is really doing something with his life or if he's using a hobby as an excuse to remain in his hood mentality of going platinum someday. You got an education, make that nigga get his.

3) LISTEN!!! Women are some of the most stuck up species I've ever seen. It's almost as if they go looking for aint-shit niggas or at least only respond to them. I'm not saying you have to give the time of day to every guy who comes your way, but if someone is polite and comes up to you for conversation instead of hopping on your ass like a jackrabbit or getting all up in your face like he own you, you may want to see what's poppin' with the gentleman. He may not be as flashy or even as charming all the time, but what you will get is a needed dose of authenticity in a world where everybody frontin' to get somethin'. You gave your number to the nigga who bought you a drink and grinded on your ass for ten songs, but you dismiss the man who actually ASKS you if you want to dance or walks up to you and says "how are you" instead of running game. Get over yourselves ladies! Be more damn approachable.

4) You deserve better. Simple as that. Don't simplify who you are to accommodate a whim, something that caught your eye. If you're going to spend your time with people, make sure they're worth it. Stop trying to build these pathetic ass men you meet into something close to successful when you know that's not realistic. Everybody you attracted to ain't worth givin the time of day, and all the people you dismiss because their "swag" or whatever the hell was off in the club ain't bad. Keep your standards high, but keep your mind and eyes open.

Ok I'm done ranting----reading over this, many might feel I'm just an angry little man who can't get a girl.....I really don't give a damn. Because while you bitchin to your girls about how "niggas aint shit" cuz he cheatin' on yo ass or "you don't know what to do with him" because he doesn't appreciate you, I'll be getting my third degree while some of these niggas hopin for their first. Damn that was a low blow...... I'm sorry I didn't go to community college, or hustle cd's out my trunk, or get a girl pregnant in high school, or get VIP status at the club...I'm so fucking sorry I grew up.....Bitch please.....Don't tell me I ain't the shit....