Understanding Humility Part 1

Understanding Humility


I have always believed my most valuable revelations, lessons if you will, have come in extreme times of suffering. It seems the only time my ego is open to damage, my mind to any sorts of useful or permanent change, is when I am nearing the end of the proverbial rope. Though one might think this sort of dangerous learning will shorten my opportunities to practice new found “techniques” on life, I find more value in them because of the circumstances surrounding their origins most times--essentially the necessity of these lessons’ application for the sake of my continued existence. In other words, adapt or die. No lesson are the aforementioned beliefs more evident in my life then my learning to be humble. Of all the values and life skills I’ve attained over the years, humility undoubtedly is the most versatile. It has given me unparalleled flexibility in dealing with people, obstacles, and myself. The latter in a less pleasant manner, but humility helps nonetheless to keep me grounded in reality, rather than believe my twisted and ignorant ideals of invincibility are based in any true part of living.

Humility begins to mean something before we, as humans, even know what “meaning” is. I remember as a child talking back to my parents, telling white lies, sharing, all those things, the fundamental need that existed to engage in such activities. You can’t do them without thinking outside of yourself, considering your place in a bigger social order. Authority has no meaning unless one knows humility’s place. Guilt and reflection upon the consequences of deception require empathy, another byproduct of humility. Sharing one’s joy, material, or knowledge requires an understanding of how you can be of value to others rather yourself. Humility has always been at the base of everyday, useful interaction. My childhood minister always preached to me to be humble when I’d get angry when it was my turn to serve the cookies after bible study. I was the smartest person in the class and I had no interest in serving anyone, not even God. I was mean to all the kids and if they weren’t padding my ego with compliments, I didn’t care to be around them. I had no idea what he meant when he said “the same people you see going up the ladder are the same you see coming down.” It was only a matter of time before I would learn what that meant.

But to consider how humility works to reveal itself it what intrigues me. In order for me to truly contemplate what role its played in my life, I have to consider the most important transitions and periods of my existence. When my father died, I was an arrogant freshman in college. I, back then, didn’t care for memories of my childhood and that unfortunately included all recollections of my horrid upbringing, the ghettos and the gangsters, the visions of apathy that ran rampant through the ravaged neighborhoods I lived in. So many Black men and women all dying from the inside, lacking the motivation necessary to lift themselves up, would rot in that place. I despised all parts of poverty. It created in me a seemingly positive bitterness toward underachieving and fostered the beginnings of my self perception--I believed myself better than all of that mess and everything that was poor, poverty or pathetic. The rage I felt through those cold nights with no heat, the ridicule I endured because I valued an education, the pain and anger I felt when my father would demand my respect when he didn’t even work for a living, made me into a monster.

to be continued....