"The Secret" of Success

I attended what seemed to be an open house for this condo in downtown Atlanta with a photographer friend of mine. What is amazing about this guy is he doesn't have much outside of his insanely positive outlook on life. What's strange though is he has single-handedly generated a network that includes some of the most successful people in Atlanta. Not to mention, he has his own website, business, and will host his first exhibit later on today. At first I was a hater, no lie, because I couldn't wrap my mind around his success. It was simply baffling how someone could generate so much positive energy and luck when from the outside in, things looked much worse.

More After the Jump

Respect and Achievement

So I'm beginning to notice some significant trends when it comes to perceptions of different degrees. I've been going back and forth lately on whether to pursue an online MBA. Obviously these programs have become ubiquitous as of late and I really wanted some opinion on whether it was worth my time. As far as I'm concerned, it's just a credential.A credential that could help me land some sort of respectable job or actually help me build a real career. So long as I get it from a respectable source (accredited and official), I saw no reason not to. Unfortunately, the friends I asked seemed bent on steering me away from it.

More After the Jump

Mind Games

I originally created this space to share my writing with the world. I'm no longer interested in that. I tire of the fabrication. My motivations for writing in the beginning (some 8 years ago) were based around reconciling the negative thoughts in my head. Much of what I posted here has been less personal, less real. Though it was useful to whoever did read it, it didn't reflect the reality I've been living in and perceiving. It was simply my effort to advise myself on how to live and only included as much as I was willing to share with the world. It wasn't raw....

Well....this is.

My mind is in a place it hasn't been since I was much younger. The rage and frustration I feel right now brings back bitter memories of home, of South Carolina. I'm reminded of the utter helplessness and anger I felt when I looked around and saw nothing but failure and decay. I've always resented poverty. I still do to this day. I resented everything it represented. For me, it was my stubborn father refusing to do anything with himself and the hatred that created between us.The stagnation he was content with made my blood boil. When he died, I tricked myself into loving him, into appreciating the love he had for me. Deep down however, I knew those thoughts of hate still lingered. Poverty was my mother. This woman--an emotional wreck who herself was engulfed in a cycle of bad and irresponsible parenting--is the source of the imbalances in my brain. She still doesn't know how to love and her psychological state, like mine, continues to ravage any hope she could ever have of establishing a meaningful connection with the world. I want to love her. But the facts keep staring at me. She doesn't have any concept whatsoever of progression. She is content with poverty and continues to demonstrate an unwillingness to go the extra mile even when her youngest son is busting his ass to make something of himself. I pushed that hatred to the back of my mind and turned "lack of support" into "pride in my independence". Who the fuck was I kidding?

The list goes on. Much of that negative energy I was able to parlay into something somewhat productive. It began with running away. To the outside world, it was a logical decision to attend college. Let me make this clear. The concept of higher education, the premise that by spending countless years in a classroom, I'll be able to achieve anything, is bogus. I came to school because the classroom was the only place I had ever recognized as a "safe zone". It provided me with a social position, creative outlets, and affirmation that there was indeed some potential for me in the real world. However, college is the most inefficient means of progression I have ever experienced. Nothing about it has helped me. Everything about it has hurt me. That is all I have to say on the subject.

After getting my degree, a process in and of itself, I was faced with perhaps the biggest challenge of my 22 year existence. I now possessed a piece of paper that was supposedly desirable enough to jump start my career and ensure I'd leave poverty in the past where it belonged. Wrong. I've struggled more since graduating than I have at any point in life. Graduate programs accepted me and rescinded their decisions because of silly mistakes. While my peers achieved, I struggled to pay bills and rebuild credit that had been torn apart as a result of (you guessed it) college. I witnessed the love of my life leave and pursue a career, a path, parental resources in tow, while I wondered where I would be living for the next...the next...shit I didn't even know. I slaved over resumes and cover letters all replete with experience and skills while my peers were handed jobs and opportunities. You think I got called back? Sure I did---for jobs working 7.25 an hour doing stuff I could have done out of the womb. Keep in mind, I've edited and written whole publications, mobilized throngs of people, outperformed and out-shined nearly anyone I've ever competed with, and all I have to show for it is unpaid bills and frustration. Someone tell me why in the FUCK did I go to college? Is this what we have to offer little black males trappin on the corner? Is this included in those lifetime earnings charts they used to show us? If so, you can keep this shit..

Pardon my rant. The issue here is I'm beginning to wonder if I've been living a lie. My passions--writing, acting and music--what am I to do with them? Surely, disregarding my real world obligations to pursue these things is impractical, but perhaps so was going to college to help with those passions. I'm forced to question whether I have talent or ability at all. Nothing has come of my marketing efforts and I've been actively engaged for the better part of four years now. Have I made too many mistakes? Did I overestimate my margin for error? Is it God? Am I supposed to continue my spiritual struggle with Him? So many questions and so little answers.

Now the beauty of all this is I'm fully aware of my own power in making this situation right. I am deathly aware of the work required to fix this piece of shit life of mine. I simply don't have the direction and am quickly losing the motivation. After working so damn hard and being behind the eight ball for so damn long, I'm wondering if pride is enough to hold onto this time or have I indeed bitten off way more than I can chew, expecting this life to improve? No...I can beat it and I will beat it. Until I die, I will believe in my own legend. I will believe that with time, all this will be worth it. I just have to last....

Thoughts and Dreams: Detox Vol.3

Creating the World You Desire

Many of us have particular desires in life. There are things we hope to achieve: goals and ideals that spring from our attempts to reconcile our future and who we currently know ourselves to be. Also important to this equation, this goal mechanism that is our dreams, is our ability to blur the line between fantasy and reality. It is some regard magical to conceptualize something that exists only as a thought and systematically build toward its entry into the real world. It is our talent for making things happen that determines how much power we have over our future. We must make something out of nothing---it is, shall we say, the proverbial hustle?

Now in order to properly discuss this matter of making your dreams into reality, it is imperative we know what factors play a role in this process. To put it simply, there are four meaningful questions you need to ask yourself. Who am I? What can I do? What do I want? How do I get there? The answers to those questions will undoubtedly act as first steps on the path to achieving your innermost desires and attaining true happiness.

Who Am I?

Such a broad question may seem intimidating at first. But the answer isn't as hard as you might think. Everyone can benefit from taking just a few minutes to step outside themselves and see the package that is "you". It's as simple as finding a quiet spot to meditate, putting on your favorite, relaxing tune and asking some questions. How do you feel about yourself? Are you where you hoped to be at this point? Did you even have a goal? Are you single? in love? Are you religious? Take a moment to place yourself on the human spectrum of thought. What are your political views? Are you aware of what's happening around you? What makes you cry? Laugh? Sigh? How do you enjoy yourself? The questions can range from a myriad of places. It doesn't matter if you ask every relevant question (obviously you can't), but what this process does is help to organize the many thoughts in your head concerning who you are as a person. We live each day reacting to so much. So many get so caught up in the daily routine that after a while, we forget who the hell we are. Without taking the time to nurture the individual, without practical self evaluation, how is it we can expect to come into our true selves? our true life's purpose? How can you be happy, if you don't even know what things are near and dear to your heart? I say this only to encourage a bit of reflection. The events of your past, down to the moments passing now, each had something to offer to your present person. Know your inventory. It'll be much easier to sell later if you do.

The question of Who am I relates to self-image and perception. Generating positive self-image from within before it can be manipulated by external factors is essential to realizing your dreams. Insecurities are literally points about yourself of which you aren't completely sure about. Questioning yourself objectively and learning both the positive and negative things about yourself can help direct self-improvement efforts and encourage mental health. It can also improve your relationships with others. The confidence you have in yourself is directly proportional to an understanding of your personal qualities.

What Can I Do?

This is just another way of asking what is it you have to offer? Outside of job interviews, personal statements, applications, and all those crafted forms of selling yourself, have you ever truly thought about what you can do? What are your talents? Abilities? Hobbies and the like? Asking these questions outside the context of selling yourself will generate much more genuine answers. I'd advise taking a second to write down all the things you feel you're good at or would be interested in trying or doing. You might not have done it in years, but perhaps you're an excellent artist? A gymnast? An actor or entertainer? Decorative much? A wiz for computers and the internet? A technology buff? A giver? A great friend? Taking the time to figure these things out will do wonders for not only your self image, but it will make shaping your short term and long term goals for life much easier. By simply taking the time to stay true to your talents and gifts, you drastically increase the effectiveness of your role in planning your life. You are not simply here to exist. You are here to live and do the things you love to do. It is up to you to follow these next steps to ensure you're able to make a living while still crafting a life that is both rewarding and satisfying.



What do I Want?

By now, you should have a pretty good idea of what things drive you. Reflect on your answers to the first two questions: Who am I and what can I do? If you were diligent in considering those matters, you have a nice concept of your values and convictions, your interests, as well as your abilities. These are the things that make you unique. Cherish and value these essential qualities. Think of them every time you make a move in life. Part of improving the quality of your life is establishing a firm base at home---in the depths of your mentality. A person well versed in the things that interest them has much more to offer to the world around them. A person who stands firm in their convictions and pays attention to what they believe in has tapped into the ultimate source of inner strength---that of personal will and the desire to protect one's mind and heart. It is this sort of passion that created the likes of Dr. Martin King and Mother Theresa. It created Toni Morrison and Bill Gates. It created you. Knowing where you stand and what matters to you is the first step to greatness. It gives you something to fall back on. I remember during one of the most trying times in my life, the only thing powerful enough to motivate me to live was my singular belief I was destined to achieve. I told myself that everyday. I had passions, like flames, already set ablaze; No rain could kill that fire.

Be sure to consider both the "who" and the "what"? By that I mean life is more than just the philosophy. It is the application. What you actually do is still the single most effective means to progress. With that said, make a conscious effort to include your abilities and personal gifts in everything you do. Find jobs that match your interests and maximize the opportunity for you to contribute to society. I don't mean community service (although that could very well be your passion), I mean knowing that you have something valuable to express and making sure you have the adequate platform. The money will come. What's important here is the quality of your life. I can't tell you how frustrated I've been lately wondering if graduate school is really where I need to be going next. Of course it seems the best option because society values education and stability, but the fact is if I feel my creativity is stifled working my 9--5, even if I'm my own boss,make my own hours and have an awesome position on paper, it means nothing if I'm not doing the things I love to do, expressing the feelings I want to express, living the life I want to live. I work in higher education and plan to attend graduate school for student counseling. No doubt, I love impacting students' lives. I don't have to stop doing that work. But I owe it to the students I work for to come 100%. So it's vital I'm happy and stable mentally. So even if my current career path isn't everything I want, there is nothing stopping me from doing the things I love in my spare time. Many cheat themselves because they invest their energy into one thing, usually external. It could be a relationship, a job, a family issue, anything. However, always consider your life as a canvas and the act of living is the paintbrush. You, my friend, are the color. Everything you think and subsequently do adds color to your life and contributes to the bigger picture. Some colors will show more than others, but no one color makes the entire portrait. You owe it to yourself to know what colors you have and paint the picture you want to see.

I say that to emphasize the importance of knowing what you want. Use what you know about yourself to shape your future goals and never hesitate to reach high. By taking the steps I've outlined here, you're already in the elite. Most will never take control of their lives and their minds will remain perpetually in existential purgatory.





How Do I Get There?

The final stage....we've engaged in self-reflection and have a firm idea of our personal perspective and inventory. We know what we want and what we care about. The only thing left now is the magic.

Essential to achieving anything is the realization we are all human. Each of us have a particular set of circumstances to deal with, our own self image. We all have feelings, dreams, hopes and aspirations. With the media constantly sensationalizing the lives of others and glamorizing the human experience, it can seem much easier to assume our lot in life is final. For many in poverty, college is but a distant illusion. The middle class dreams of a world where posturing and semantics can be replaced with authentic and genuine concern for the world. The best and brightest minds even, rely on fantastical concepts of what might be and ask "why not" to drive their pursuit of knowledge. My point is we all have dreams. Those dreams are rooted in the same ground, the same earth. Each of us has this one earth as our canvas, and regardless of what you might think, one picture to be painted. We are all connected. Upon that premise, know that there is nothing in life you cannot do. There is nothing fundamentally different between you and the most successful role model you have. The only difference is circumstance, action and opportunity--all things easily rectified.

Second, once you understand there is nothing you cannot do, it's simply a matter of investing the time and patience into making your dreams reality. Setting actual goals and writing them down, marking them off as you achieve them will help build confidence and carry you through more difficult tasks. Break your goals down into realistic parts. I mean realistic inasmuch as you organize your path to achievement. There's nothing wrong with wanting the most from life. But understand every goal has its price and you must be prepared to do what you have to in order to succeed.

Third, know the terrain and equip yourself with the knowledge necessary to plan effectively in life. Once you know what you care about and what passions you possess, invest in them. This doesn't necessarily mean monetary efforts either. By investing in your talents and interests and learning about them daily, you are investing in you. The rapid changes in technology now enable us to learn more than ever about practically any subject. No longer are the times when books and schools were the only means of education. Google and Youtube have consolidated more media than we could have imagined. Even video games now are capable of entertaining us in ways we couldn't have dreamed of just ten years ago. We can get our news and updates instantly from our cell phones and learn all there is to know about anyone from the comfort of our desks or couches. Invest in learning how to research and use this technology. It has done wonders for me. The more you know, the greater the chance you'll put yourself in a position to capitalize on rare opportunities. Also, it makes the world much smaller when you follow the latest trends in areas such as politics, entertainment, or education. Being aware is half the battle. It enables you to network effectively and direct your efforts more efficiently.

Conclusion

Using the power of learning and self reflection, suddenly the line between where you are and where you want to be isn't so clear. What I have attempted to argue is that by harnessing the power of self--perception and self--image, we can become better people. Better in the sense we are more aware of what makes us each valuable. From that point, we can invest in cultivating our true selves and using that understanding to strengthen our resolve, resiliency and passion in life. By recognizing and acknowledging our desires and interests in all our endeavors, we can better the quality of our life and work. By organizing our thoughts and setting goals which can be broken down into small steps, we can achieve more. By educating ourselves, we are more prepared. It is my belief that by addressing these essential areas, we can all be great. Is it simply a matter of action that is keeping you from achieving your destiny? Yes. No matter what you do, you must do something. I hope I've given you some things to think about as you continue your efforts.

We are still in the diagnostic stages of the Detox, so expect many thoughts. Lately, spiritual and creative forces have been at work in my life. The Detox is already opening up my mind to positive vibes. A friend and I recently had a conversation concerning God and His existence, this world, good and evil, all that type stuff....I have no idea why, but the dots came together. It all made sense since I was able to reconcile both my role and His in my daily life. I was right about one thing---everything I do is entirely up to me. I can make choices,any choices and each has a consequence. I've always believed bad things just happen and the whole "never more than you can bear" thing got pretty old pretty fast. But now I understand that God created and shaped this universe for reasons I could never comprehend (not that I've tried lately since I was pretty much done with it) and we simply inhabit that space with free will. That will separates good choices from bad ones. Sometimes God steps in and provides situations and people that might help us along (or give us a wake up call). From that point, it's all us.

I maintain my views about religion and the bible, but I understand those now as reflections of different time and place, where people like Jesus were chillin' in the cut while slavery, polygamy, crucifixion, and all kinds of other olden stuff went on. Jesus was a bad mofo--this I have always known. However it's much easier for me to understand exactly why Jesus came now. I'd explain it, but I'm already bad about blogging so I gotta make it count.


THE LEAK EP

oK, so for some reason, the writer's block is gone, and I'm rapping like I was in high school. A week ago, I couldn't write a verse----I haven't slept in almost 48 hours because I come home to my makeshift studio (AKA a fast ass computer and knowing how to use mixing software) and lay down track after track after track.

Oops...almost forgot. Yeah I rap lol A lot....The thing is I have always loved rapping. It's the most raw medium for expressing oneself.


The link below is to some of my work. Some of it sounds a lil rough because I've refused to invest in this particular hobby for fear I'll fall into the same category as the people I talk shit about----another studio head with a dollar and a dream.........buuuut hey---that's one of my tracks on the leak, so I can relate. Listen!!!!! Bob ya heads and enjoy---it's good stuff.

Come Take A Ride With Me

http://www.zshare.net/audio/71219397680f3530/

Got a Dollar and a Dream

http://www.zshare.net/audio/7121950536f8517a/

Put You on the Met

http://www.zshare.net/audio/71219655a950c1e6/

Thoughts and Dreams: Detox Vol.1

Hello world--long time no see---

Pardon if I'm a bit antsy, but it's taking everything in me to not cop some cigs right now. I'll explain why I won't just go get them later. Lately, I've been growing anxious concerning the prospects of my future. I'm not at all confident I'm doing what needs to be done to move forward. Why? Quite frankly, because I'm a lazy fucking bum. There I said it. Henrico Antwan Norris--as it stands is a complete waste of space: too busy waiting for success to fall into his lap to get up and take control of his own life.

Over the past few weeks, I've grown increasingly disappointed with where I am in life. Sure, I'm 22 and some may feel I have plenty of time for a midlife crisis, but if being around Emory kids does anything to you, it reminds you that there is AlWAYS someone progressing. Always someone else working, applying, executing, or developing when I'm being lazy. I'm sorry, but the previous standards I had of simply exiting the hood are proving inadequate for my desired path.


I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why I'm feeling like such an underachiever. When did this start? That would undoubtedly help me figure out how to get over it. I took a step back and noticed that I've neglected to address my person for the better part of 2 years--perhaps longer. Understand that in order to mature properly, you've got to commit yourself to daily self evaluation (note NOT useless self criticism).

And thus we have the Thoughts and Dreams: Detox series. More for my own benefit than anything, I intend on chronicling the progress of my self improvement, by articulating the areas that have the most need and working my way toward becoming the person I want to be. This means setting goals; this means accepting the challenge of changing habits I've had for years. It will be uncomfortable, but it will also be rewarding and productive. Feel free to comment and add your perspectives---I plan on being quite candid throughout this process, so I'm sure to have different positions than most people on a number of issues.

Detox Step #1

The first and most important part of this detox process is establishing your base areas for improvement. It's important I take the time to think of areas in my life I am genuinely concerned about. I won't have as much chance for success if I focus my energy on improving things I don't think matter. So with that said, Let's list the areas I care most deeply about.......

• Health
• Finances and Essential Needs
• Values and Convictions
• Career Goals
• Leisure Time
• Education
• Creative Release
• Home Environment
• Love and Relationships
• Achievement
• My Self Perception
• Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections
• Coping with Stress
  

This list is ever changing and is in no way exhaustive. However, it provides a much needed starting point to affect change in the way I do things. Now, before we move forward, let's take out a couple of these bullets from above:

Love and Relationships
Quality of my Social Interactions/Connections


Notice these two areas deal with other people. So for now, we're going to put those on the back burner. It is vital I address the needs of "self" and my own person before incorporating others into my detox. In fact, short of this blog, I don't plan on involving others in this process to a large degree. I've deactivated any social networks for the time being. That's mainly because part of the detox is understanding who I am independent of people and other external factors.

Isolation may not be the best means for everyone, but it takes knowing what your needs are. I know many of my issues stem from comparing myself to other people for instance. Many of my self perception issues cause me to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. And of course without values and convictions, how can you truly add substance to your interactions with others. These are just a couple of examples, but essentially I want to make the point that REAL CHANGE STARTS FROM THE INSIDE, so take a break from the external pressure for a while and chill. Focus on doing your own thing and in time, we'll deal with everything else.




So I've taken the first step in this Detox and laid out what areas I want to improve. The next step is the diagnostic: an honest evaluation of how I'm doing in each of these areas and what will need to be done.

When Rico Gets Pissed 09--The Nigga Chronicles

From an actual conversation...........

Rico- What's wrong?

Dumb Bitch- ______ bein' stupid again...I asked him why he ain't call me and he got all mad at me and shit cuz he said he was "workin".

Rico-un huh...workin' where?

Dumb Bitch-I don't know--some shit up in the goddamn studio... And his baby mama in town, so he say he was chillin' with her...

Rico-....And u cool with that?

Dumb Bitch- I mean....

Rico- U's a dumb bitch.....


All bitches aint dumb ones, but you'd be surprised.....

I simply want to address a little problem I've noticed with the females I encounter and talk to...
pardon if I'm a bit rash because to be honest, this post hits very close to home because nothing frustrates an intellectual like myself more than ignorant people....I'm not being cocky.....well actually yes I am--I don't need anyone to tell me I represent the upper echelon when it comes to Black males.....but for some reason...ya know what, just listen

1) I think I said it once before, but women get too caught up in romanticism. Just because he strokes your ego every other sentence doesn't mean this nigga's worth it. I personally feel like women see an attractive guy and want to find a reason to like him, even though he ain't doin' a damn thing with his life, stay locked up or in some mess, got a baby mama, can't finish school or stay up in some damn studio, etc.--the list goes on. A friend of mine literally fell head over heels for some dude she met in the club just because he came at her with cheesy ass lines all the time--you know? Talkin' about how pretty your smile is, acting like he really cares about your day, the "harmless" flirting. As soon as he realized she wasn't givin' it up no time soon, he stopped talking to her. Damn...just a week ago, this boy said he was different--wanted to be patient and build a good friendship with you...guess he changed his damn mind. And I pray you don't fuck these conniving ass niggas. Words are just that--words. Actions speak louder and you have to hold these fools to higher standards than making you "feel" good through text messages or a couple dinners.

2) That leads me into the next issue I have with women and their standards. Find someone who has a least a little drive and determination, who isn't typical. The best type of men are the ones who actually think. Is the guy you're talking to a dreamer? Does he have ambition? Or does he just sit on his ass all day and claim he's makin' moves? You know the answer. I was shocked at how many beautiful, intelligent, working women fell for guys who had no degree of purpose in their lives. 95% of the time, these men were involved in music in some form or fashion. I don't think that shit's a coincidence. I have nothing against creativity--I do it too, but use some common sense---If five years from now(when you're not in school anymore) you can't admit what your man is doing to your friends at work, your parents or anybody you respect, then don't settle now. Don't even waste your time. I know you're saying "Five years? Damn!" But hey, if you can't see a long term relationship being built, then why are you bothering with him? You're a grown damn woman, so stop playing little childish games! How many studioheads you know makin' it happen? Is promoting your friends' events really a career or just an excuse to be at the damn club every other night? Is the money (if any) made from these endeavors being invested in worthwhile efforts? You'll find the answers to these questions usually make it clear whether your man is really doing something with his life or if he's using a hobby as an excuse to remain in his hood mentality of going platinum someday. You got an education, make that nigga get his.

3) LISTEN!!! Women are some of the most stuck up species I've ever seen. It's almost as if they go looking for aint-shit niggas or at least only respond to them. I'm not saying you have to give the time of day to every guy who comes your way, but if someone is polite and comes up to you for conversation instead of hopping on your ass like a jackrabbit or getting all up in your face like he own you, you may want to see what's poppin' with the gentleman. He may not be as flashy or even as charming all the time, but what you will get is a needed dose of authenticity in a world where everybody frontin' to get somethin'. You gave your number to the nigga who bought you a drink and grinded on your ass for ten songs, but you dismiss the man who actually ASKS you if you want to dance or walks up to you and says "how are you" instead of running game. Get over yourselves ladies! Be more damn approachable.

4) You deserve better. Simple as that. Don't simplify who you are to accommodate a whim, something that caught your eye. If you're going to spend your time with people, make sure they're worth it. Stop trying to build these pathetic ass men you meet into something close to successful when you know that's not realistic. Everybody you attracted to ain't worth givin the time of day, and all the people you dismiss because their "swag" or whatever the hell was off in the club ain't bad. Keep your standards high, but keep your mind and eyes open.

Ok I'm done ranting----reading over this, many might feel I'm just an angry little man who can't get a girl.....I really don't give a damn. Because while you bitchin to your girls about how "niggas aint shit" cuz he cheatin' on yo ass or "you don't know what to do with him" because he doesn't appreciate you, I'll be getting my third degree while some of these niggas hopin for their first. Damn that was a low blow...... I'm sorry I didn't go to community college, or hustle cd's out my trunk, or get a girl pregnant in high school, or get VIP status at the club...I'm so fucking sorry I grew up.....Bitch please.....Don't tell me I ain't the shit....

Personal Renovations: Baby Steps and Patience

So I've been thinking more and more lately about how to improve the quality of my life. More specifically, I'm wondering if I'm doing enough at this point to ensure I'm on the path to success. Fact is I'm not.

There are a few primary areas that have consumed the majority of my time and energy. Those areas are finances, social interaction at all levels, finding a career, and overall being more purposeful in my actions.

I've decided that in order to develop in these areas, it's going to take a concerted effort. I've been sitting on my ass waiting for shit to happen and it just doesn't work that way. The only way to achieve is to perform---perform at the highest level I can at all times. Knowledge of this fact is the key to making positive changes in my life. I am fully aware that I have the potential to fulfill my dreams of attaining a peaceful and thoroughly creative mind, but it's definitely going to take hard work.

In the coming weeks, I'll be blogging about my successes, failures and thoughts during this process. It's more to keep me grounded and focused on my goal. Also, it'll help me get used to writing more often. I feel like writing is definitely the most effective means of therapy for me. It's been that way since day one and I can't imagine why I stopped, even for a little while. But the here and now is all that matters.

STRUCTURE

The first and most important step to creating positive change is cultivating a positive, productive mindset. All negative thoughts including, but not limited to doubt, fear, antagonism, bitterness and worry must be removed. A daily affirmation is useful in establishing a firm base for successful thinking. Motivational or profound quotes have always did it for me. My facebook status is a good idea of what I mean--pick quotes that make you think, not the cliche sort that people hear everyday from their grandparents...

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. -Henry David Thoreau

Now isn't that beautiful and profound? Basically he's saying that we can't simply change on a whim, think a thought once and be done with it. We must continually and everlastingly think the "thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." We have to train our minds to work in the way we wish our persons to be. In my experience, it's best to envision yourself living the life you want to and working your way backward from there. First what kind of person do you want to be? What are your passions currently? Invest in the good ones. What are your hopes and dreams? Take the steps now to try to achieve as many of them as you can. You'd be surprised at how much you're actually capable of when you simply try. Think of it this way. Everyone dreams and wants things, but a very small percentage even begin to work toward their fondest desires. By simply beginning, you've brought yourself closer to your dreams than you could ever believe. It could be as simple as building your resume and applying for a job, auditioning for theater, writing a story or too, committing to furthering your education, making a list of things to do, cleaning your room, working out, quitting smoking, telling yourself you're worthy of success, praying every night, or any of a variety of things that represent moving toward becoming who it is you want to be. EVALUATE YOURSELF HONESTLY AND CRUDELY AND KEEP AN OPEN MIND. FROM THERE, CREATE THE SELF IMAGE THAT REPRESENTS THE ESSENCE OF THE QUINTESSENTIAL "YOU".

By constantly improving your self perception and always finding new positive goals to add to your desired self image, you provide yourself with structure and a guide toward success. Your self image is the backbone of your path to success.

The Initial Realization- Means and Ends

Today, yesterday, tomorrow, it's all the same moment, the same opportunity for the decision to go wherever I please in life. It seems even though I realize that, I'm still pretending I have time to fuck around and play games--childish games. The faster I get real, the sooner I'll feel secure in my chances to control this beast called life.

These damn tricks I keep playing on myself, acting as if I should really be concerned with such matters as lust, attention, silly constructs of happiness that only aid in my diagnosis as a clinically depressed, bipolar, temperamental silly man when all are really a complete waste of my time. They are wastes only because they result from my thinking about nothing beyond the current state of things, the immediate gratification of ignorance....no...not ignorance.....foolishness and fleeting bouts of pleasure. Hmm, so I guess I think I have more time than I actually do to fool around.

You see, that my friend is precisely the issue. I continue to assume that because the moment is infinite, I am too. But that isn't how God chose to make this sick little indulgence of His. Not at all. You see God is infinite. So in reality, God is the only One capable of embracing the luxury of an infinite moment, a total non existence of time.....and subsequently, death.

So herein lies our dilemma, which will promptly be addressed. I have already decided that. So I will die (sooner than later given my lack of concern for healthy practices) and I can't reap the advantages of infinity because I have a time to die. However, while I am on this earth, I can learn to make some headway, control this moment just a bit. But I have to start soon. What a drag. So what do I do now?

Should I...devote myself to a life of obedient Christianity? Perhaps I should scrap all concern for institutions and simply focus on doing whatever it takes to feel good...no, no not that. That's where I am now. Maybe it depends on what I want to be. Let's figure that out, shall we. Top Ten things I want out of this wretched life of mine before I die.

Power
Money
Security
Affection
Fame
Importance

wait, wait.......I see. So it seems I'm getting my means and ends confused. Aha, it's when we pursue our means as ends, we get that horrible affliction of disillusion. Means are precisely that--means and aren't meant to last. I've been doing that for a while, going after means. So let's redo the list. First with our desired ends.

Security
Purpose

wow, suddenly that list gets a whole lot shorter when you think about the shit that matters. And the means? Well that list would be a bitch to do tonight, so maybe next time.

I don't know the title yet, but a story I'm writing...

So this journey called life-simple right? I’m sure you’ve got everything and anything all figured out? Wrong: as wrong as something could possibly be. In fact, it’s proven more difficult in the past four days than anything I could imagine….

Day 1

Day broke-- like I broke open an eye and stroked my face and I, unfortunately awoke. Damn. Try as I might, this just wasn't my time to die. Not yet. Still trials to be suffered, goals to be met and I bet my last smoke this should prove another day worth dying after. Damn. Day broke, and I lay drifting into some world I wished was there. Where I wasn't boxed in this white room with its white walls and doors, all the more to drive me mad and the sun was white hot against my black ass face. Damn. I hated it.

"Wake up bitch! It’s Monday. Time to receive some of that million dollar education.” It was Kyle. He was always moving, always doing something …if even not for his best interest.

"It’s school…it’s not going anywhere. It will be there tomorrow…and the next day and the next one. It’s actually quite annoying.” I said.

I Moved about my bed and the pillow didn't feel right anymore. Turned it. Cold, better and comfortable. Some hope maybe? But five minutes into time saw me hating it all the more.

“Dude you still haven’t done anything with this room. It’s so bland.” said Kyle.

“I have no money to do anything, including unnecessary acts like decorating this prison you call a dorm.” I said.

"Well guess what Mr. Pessimist. Life is a very real thing. And right now the most important thing in your life is getting up and going to class. Wake up fool!”

Kyle kicked the bed, but I pretended not to notice. I wanted to go back into my dreams, to my world of paradise and trees, woods never ending and a symbolic rainfall teeming with the stimulation I craved. I hated the real world. It was a mess. Like my room. I turned over again and reached towards something better. The ritual Newport that eased my habitual thoughts of death. That box had things in it. 20 reasons to live a "class A" life. Empty. Shit, that's the story of my existence.

“It’s a bright day man!” Kyle said, ripping open the curtains. The blinding light of the sun in the morning. Ugh.

Kyle was what you might like to call my best friend. Well in reality, he was my only friend, but I made it count. I met him back in high school, a glutton for trouble but a boy wise beyond his 16 years at the time. He’s 18 now and loving it. We decided to stick together and left the hood for higher ground. Emory University, a top twenty school teeming with all the middle class we could get our hands on. Oh, how we strove for the middle class.

“Fine, I’m up you stupid idiot.” I said.

I stood up, glaring at the source of my misfortune. He dared speak another word or I’d kill him.

“Plus you know that crazy ass bitch, Tammy gon’ be lookin’ for yooooou oooh! Leaving her on the street last night?! She’s most definitely going to have a thing or two to say to um, express my utter disgust with your behavior. Who the fuck talks like that? A crazy bitch, that’s who.”

“I hate you so much. Tammy deserved that shit. She was acting up all night. Flirting with anything on two legs, pretending she was single? She practically begged me to slap her behind in the mouth. I swear I don’t know what keeps me with her.” I said.

“I don’t know either. Well…oh would you look at that. Guess who’s outside waiting? Tammy. That’s yo ass Mr. Postman.” I’ll see you in class. If you make it.”

“Thanks for the moral support.” I said. Kyle left and I inched toward the window. I made eye contact with her. Damn! She was still there when I looked. I sighed and went to brush my teeth.

A natural disaster was about to occur and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The Line Between Friends and Lovers: The Case of the Ex

The line between friends and lovers: The Case of the Ex


Whether it be an ex, a childhood friend, someone you just met, or whatever, we constantly find ourselves caught up in the classic situation of not knowing "what we are", "whether we should be doing this" and all that jazz.

The Ex

I constantly find myself talking, chilling just trying to kick it with the ex because nobody wants to be fighting and sh*t just because a relationship couldn't work out. I tried it and there are certain things you have to remember if you plan on being friends.

1) Don't fool yourself into thinking your relationship never happened.

2)Just because yall still f*ckin', don't mean yall still together.

3) Don't get in "what if" conversations

4) Don't talk about whose fault it is you broke up. Say it was mutual if someone asks.

5) If you and your ex's friendship fails, be careful about communicating with your ex's friends, family, or associates.


6) Don't date each other's friends. What's a friend?

*Anyone with below 2 degrees of separation.

*Any friend who actively hung out with the ex,

*that one friend you know you wanna talk to and you know they wanna talk to you, but it would blow up.

*friends who aren't friends with your ex anymore as a result of a fallout

*anybody your ex would "magically" turn into a friend, even if its untrue.


7) Keep your business to yourself.

8) Keep physical contact to a minimum (if you can help it)

9) Don't immediately get a rebound

10) Don't say you love them

Perserverance

I received a phone call today from a friend back home who following up on a developing situation with her brother. She was worried about him. Her brother is 16, attending an all black high school much as I did and he got himself into some mess and wants to drop out of school citing it's too much trouble to change. No matter what his parents or sister say to him, he just keeps on getting himself into trouble with gangs, drugs and girls. He ran away from home and now his sister was looking for him. His sister convinced his parents not to call the police since he was answering his phone just not telling where he was. I had talked to him many times before and he was so much like me. He just wanted to prove himself, prove he was worth something more than what people gave him credit for. The kid is smart. He has much potential and I was saddened to hear that one more of my brothers was falling by the wayside. I remember him telling me he was way smarter than I was and he would prove it to me if it was the last thing he did. It was like looking in a mirror. He was like maybe 12 then. It should be noted that since then he's bested me at every test, achievement or otherwise and honestly I was glad, just excited that he was beating the same circumstances I did and moving forward. That is why I was so shocked to hear this. He is a senior I believe now but I hadn't talked to him a while. I neglected his phone calls and would always say I was busy when really I could have talked to him.

Eventually I was able to speak with him and ask him what the hell was going on. He told me no one liked him. I said what should you care if people don't like you. You are a likable person. He said his parents seemed to be solely focused on his education, his friends felt like they couldn't talk to him because he was too "deep" and some even said he was stuck up, and he decided to join a gang to get some street credit and respect from his peers. He started using hard drugs and his grades fell, and was finding himself in some very compromising situations. He felt his world crumbling around him and his grades dropped before he got kicked out of school for fighting.His girlfriend, whom he admitted tried to get him to chill left him. And to top it all off, he saw a young man beaten to a bloody pulp the other day and almost panicked when his gang insisted he join in and he didn't, thus they ridiculed him and threatened him about telling. He was distraught and said he ran away to get some peace. He didn't feel like he had anything left and now he would be a failure.

by this point, I was crying. I was so angry at how the mind and the world drives us into these positions of despair. I told him that there was nothing stopping him from being great and that in fact he was closer to it now than he'd ever been. He didn't understand, so I told him of some of my more recent experiences and how these times are necessary to strengthen us, give us wisdom and help us understand what things really matter in this world. he told me that he wants to get back to being productive but didn't know where to start. He thought his college hopes were dashed, his relationship with his parents and friends ruined because they knew he had ran away and ironically didn't respect him for the violence he was associated with. I told him it was all irrelevant. People will always have their flawed perceptions about you and what you do and why you do it. Some are jealous ones who envy your talents and abilities and want nothing more than to be like you because they themselves lack identity and purpose. Some are fools who are too ignorant to understand who you are and resort to superficial matters of satisfaction like being popular and playing to the masses. Some are fighting their own issues and compensating through gangs and otherwise and they seek out vulnerable people like you and exploit them. But you, you must be different. You must decide for yourself that you are greater than all those things and fight to regain your place. Again he asked how? I told him God and a willingness to endure heartache for a real purpose and not for the sake of having problems.

So I preached to him for a while and by the end of the conversation we were laughing it up and he was again insisting he'd be greater than I was. Little did he know I was no greater than he. I'd done the same things all the way into college. I was the same as him and he as me and we as any person in the world. We were both two black men who needed a wake up call and now were facing life with renewed motivation. He eventually returned home and currently in the process of getting his life back together. I was so glad to hear of his fortune and I thanked God I was able to help him. I wonder how many others are seeking someone to talk to, to relate. I certainly am at times. Aren't we all? It's funny how I still face those battles that my younger companion did and will.

I implore our people to help each other more. Your experiences are the key to our success.

Realizing Your Potential-Bound in your own Mental Shackles Part 1 Share

We have to reevaluate what matters people. We have to make the most of our lives....

To myself and the masses of bad decision makers,

When will the education profit you? When will you stop deceiving yourself and believing that the path you walk, the thoughts you think, the choices you continue to make upon the basis of your own severely limited thought processes are anything close to your potential, your greatest position in life? When will you cease with the participation in mediocre, otherwise pointless endeavors and begin to transform yourself into a model of productivity? When will you seek peace in the correct places and stop with the knock-off appearances of "happy", "content" and perfectly okay with putting on the facade of well being? Enough with the games, man, when are you going to decide to win? When will your dedicate yourself to reality, truth and authentic happiness?

It's not as if you don't understand your errors in judgment. It's not as if you are ignorant to the negativity and poison you've continued to welcome into your life--all for the fleeting passion of the moment, the emotional and mental high that comes from living as if you are oblivious to right and wrong. Who are you fooling? You aren't even fooling yourself and to be truthful, that in itself is amazing considering you've up to this point never given anyone reason to believe you are capable of discerning concepts as simple as consequences, as the "long run"....As your future?

More specifically, you focus your energies on dead pursuits. What I mean is you invest your precious ability into fits of pleasure, for the wrong types of attention and company, in essentially creating a false sense of security. It angers me to no end!

At moments you show glimmers of hope, small signs of the power you hold within to change the world, to change your life and way of thinking in order to have the greatest influence you can have--that of adding positive energy to this place.

You've chosen to be uninterested in cultivating habits and beliefs, behaviors and efforts aimed at shaping you into a wholesome individual and giving your life the purpose you've sought for so long.


Why? Where are you going with the mayhem, the unhealthy lifestyle and this twisted thinking that has got you believing more in the people who hurt you and the indulgences of a vagabond than the prospect of a God who can and has restored your soul from pieces? Do you not remember where you were just a short time ago? Recognize that you are lucky to even have the opportunities you have because you haven't made God or fortune's job easier with your foolish actions and decisions.

Stop wasting away with thoughts of what you could do, what you feel you don't have the discipline to do or silly ideas of believing this existence you have now is all there is to life.There is so much more and you know it!! I don't need to show you a slideshow of your future if you correct your philosophies! You fully understand what's at stake here!! Think of what the next 50 or 60 years of your life could be or more seriously, are you going to ignore what may be the fate of your soul after you leave this plain of existence? Do you really want to take that risk? Eternity?

If for nothing else, reevaluate your current state of mind for the sake of your inner peace. How long do you want to swim in sin, in boredom, in the relative predictability of lust, sloth and being dare I say, average? What is that? Nothing is what is! Nothing! you're worth so much more!

If even for your own pride, do something! I can't watch you rot! I can't be satisfied with settling! Your family, your peers, those rich and poor, famed, esteemed or hated cannot be your measuring stick for success. Measure yourself against the belief that you are capable of nothing less than the best, the most that life and love have to offer you. Pray that a change is made in your heart and that you will finally commit to taking the road less traveled.

I promise the results will amaze you.

Classic Hip Hop 101

This is the first track off The Notorious BIG's first solo LP, Ready to Die. It's titled Things Done Changed, and speaks to a lot of the stuff I blog about...namely the stresses of struggling in violent, drug, infested communities and the decision to either overcome or be consumed by it. However it's also a display of some of the best lyrical talent we've had in a couple decades. Biggie is the truth, no doubt about it. Check out his real*st perspective.



Download Ready to Die here

Therapy

For every realization, there is a tribulation. For every positive thought, looms another---lurking caught between the heart and mind, finding its way into reality, slowly, surely eating away at sense since my heart battles between right and wrong everyday. And every way is a darkened path of love and hate, to fail or be great these things take total and utter control of me. But life like most trials takes a while to contemplate--so I wait for some sort of sign, eyes like mine fail to see what sits behind facades and shine. I keep trying to be what I despise --so much until I'm frankly out of touch with this plain of existence. Senseless pondering and wishing, fishing for things I know nothing about. Love? Success? God? none of which show themselves often beyond a sickening imagination where such concepts lead to flawed maturation. This is everything I thought life would be--a chasing of the wind.

No amount of degrees, please just spare me words of ease that I might simply appease struggle with a need to achieve. That is ignorant. To not know interactions and perception, mental preconceptions determine much of what we base success in is evidence of a supreme lack of intelligence. And these foolish definitions of peace, at least to me, lie in the belief the world is a better place--with me? Don't make me laugh--but i might crack a smile when I'd rather crack your teeth..........

This is how I release negativity, with my proclivities to write until I can't think anymore. Empty to the floor these jagged little words and look up in the sky at all the free little birds and think....

It's beautiful.

An Exposition on Sense

What is it that changes a person? Teaches them how to live and apply the knowledge from lessons learned? What is it that drives a person to ponder what normalities are flawed and useless? I question what you say, and my doubts are plenty because you don't know why you are you indeed. To live without knowing who you are is to simply exist and sense is lacking in such a state.

Sense is seeing, adapting, embracing those differences of experience. It's feeling the things around you and a constant acceptance of diversity. Without this assimilation, you are and will always be a fool.

Sense is maturing and progress. Stagnation is a sign of apathy. Why is it that you choose to remain the same? How boring it is to be predictable. No one is interested in you truly because you are the same and hence are no more valuable than some stereotype and you lend yourself to be judged by others like you.

Sense is silence. Hush and hear the words of the world as they are teeming with knowledge and perspective. Ignorance is bliss, but it is still ignorance. How can you grow when you don't even know when you're being ridiculed, torn and broken by the masses?

Sense is compassion, empathy and love. Forget yourself. Only when you live to understand the ways of men will you truly be complete. You are but a small part of a greater existence. Learn the whole and be wise to the thoughts of those around you so that you have control over every aspect of your life, yes the vital perceptions of the people too.

Sense is humility. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes. You will face the consequences of your actions. Be wary. Sense is knowing you are responsible for the image you portray. To have sense is to grow, but how difficult it is to repair a broken sculpture of your essence. Your mind will be ripped to shreds if you paint a picture of despair, turmoil and misery.

Sense is sense. Either you have it or you don't.

4 Pillars of Academic Success in College

Within each and every one of us is the capacity to succeed, to be great and achieve things beyond our wildest dreams. However, it seems we hinder ourselves with twisted, distorted, limiting mindsets. I say this referring to the belief that external factors play the greatest role in our performance in an educational setting and ultimately in our mission to become knowledgeable. If we as students of the world continue to depend on externalities like money, grades, our parents, friends or depend on those things that come and go with time, we will never reach our full potential. There are 4 pillars to academic success and they cross all subjects. Of course this is my opinion, but a healthy balance of these 4 things is the key to effective learning and education.

1. Personal Confidence/Internal Motivation

I feel this is the most important thing to have. It's the personal motivation to be the best at whatever you do independent of outside factors. It's wanting to do well and be great because you feel you are deserving of nothing less. Doing and performing for reasons like getting into grad school or satisfying your parents aren't reliable, but attaining knowledge because you have developed a love for improving the quality of your own existence is the key to continuity. Secondly, personal confidence goes a long way in maintaining a positive challenging atmosphere. Challenging yourself to do better because you know you are capable of such is the greatest source of improvement, not a bad grade. In short,internal motivation lasts and external motivation doesn't. Know without a shadow of a doubt you can and will learn anything you want to. Whenever you look at a grade and know you could have gotten a better one if you wanted to, but just didn't, that's ignoring your internal motivation. Love to be the best and you'll find yourself performing well across many disciplines.

2. Critical Thinking/Articulation

Exposure to different sets of information encourages students to think and criticize what information is put before them. Critical thinking is what separates memorizing from learning for instance. Critical thinking also encourages articulation of ideas and thoughts that enter our minds thus improving our ability to argue, debate and speak our minds before a group. It promotes tolerance and understanding as well. Critical thinking is half of all the academic challenges you'll face and being able to cultivate such a skill is priceless when you have papers, complex science tests and other abstract assignments involved in applying learned concepts.Learn your voice and speak. This can only be done by opening your mind and eyes to wisdom from all perspectives and taking them as your own.

3.Efficient Learning Style

It's all fine and well to study a lot or to develop an effective learning style, but it's useless if it isn't efficient. We must take the time to improve upon our learning style so that we retain more material in a shorter time. too many people study for hours only to see they only perform at an average to slightly above average level. Every business seeks efficiency to increase productivity, not quantity. It's the old adage of studying smart, not hard. Developing this skill has allowed me to maintain an above average performance level despite slacking in the next department-good study habits.

4.Good Study Habits/Organizational Ability.

Imagine the classmate in elementary school, who always got the "busy work" done. Your teacher says go home and write 30 definitions and you think to yourself "how pointless" and don't do it. However, the classmate, who may not be as smart as you are sits their ass down and writes them, thus getting an A. Or imagine the student who has half the raw talent or ability but works diligently each day and is organized and manages to get decent grades equivalent to your own. These are what you call good students. They sit, listen, attend class every day, study, organize their lives and are prolific doers of what needs to be done. When combined with the other 3 pillars, a good student is unstoppable and makes up the small percentage of folk who maintain 3.8 to 4.0 averages while still running every other organization on campus.

Of course there are other factors you could argue are more important than these 4. But I feel if you have these qualities, you can almost punch your ticket into the upper echelon of academia. It takes a while to get all of them and some are gifted with certain qualities more than others, but we all have the ability to improve them if we really want to. So get on it and get better.

Understanding Humility Part 1

Understanding Humility


I have always believed my most valuable revelations, lessons if you will, have come in extreme times of suffering. It seems the only time my ego is open to damage, my mind to any sorts of useful or permanent change, is when I am nearing the end of the proverbial rope. Though one might think this sort of dangerous learning will shorten my opportunities to practice new found “techniques” on life, I find more value in them because of the circumstances surrounding their origins most times--essentially the necessity of these lessons’ application for the sake of my continued existence. In other words, adapt or die. No lesson are the aforementioned beliefs more evident in my life then my learning to be humble. Of all the values and life skills I’ve attained over the years, humility undoubtedly is the most versatile. It has given me unparalleled flexibility in dealing with people, obstacles, and myself. The latter in a less pleasant manner, but humility helps nonetheless to keep me grounded in reality, rather than believe my twisted and ignorant ideals of invincibility are based in any true part of living.

Humility begins to mean something before we, as humans, even know what “meaning” is. I remember as a child talking back to my parents, telling white lies, sharing, all those things, the fundamental need that existed to engage in such activities. You can’t do them without thinking outside of yourself, considering your place in a bigger social order. Authority has no meaning unless one knows humility’s place. Guilt and reflection upon the consequences of deception require empathy, another byproduct of humility. Sharing one’s joy, material, or knowledge requires an understanding of how you can be of value to others rather yourself. Humility has always been at the base of everyday, useful interaction. My childhood minister always preached to me to be humble when I’d get angry when it was my turn to serve the cookies after bible study. I was the smartest person in the class and I had no interest in serving anyone, not even God. I was mean to all the kids and if they weren’t padding my ego with compliments, I didn’t care to be around them. I had no idea what he meant when he said “the same people you see going up the ladder are the same you see coming down.” It was only a matter of time before I would learn what that meant.

But to consider how humility works to reveal itself it what intrigues me. In order for me to truly contemplate what role its played in my life, I have to consider the most important transitions and periods of my existence. When my father died, I was an arrogant freshman in college. I, back then, didn’t care for memories of my childhood and that unfortunately included all recollections of my horrid upbringing, the ghettos and the gangsters, the visions of apathy that ran rampant through the ravaged neighborhoods I lived in. So many Black men and women all dying from the inside, lacking the motivation necessary to lift themselves up, would rot in that place. I despised all parts of poverty. It created in me a seemingly positive bitterness toward underachieving and fostered the beginnings of my self perception--I believed myself better than all of that mess and everything that was poor, poverty or pathetic. The rage I felt through those cold nights with no heat, the ridicule I endured because I valued an education, the pain and anger I felt when my father would demand my respect when he didn’t even work for a living, made me into a monster.

to be continued....

Theories and Thoughts--Connecting the Dots

I sit and wonder. I ponder things and dream of days that haven't or may not come. What makes this day interesting is the current stream of thought. An interesting yet obvious fact of life. If I think about where I am today, where I was yesterday and where I might be tomorrow, I see an inevitable connection defined by a series of decisions (or lack thereof) I make. And when broken down even further, moment to moment decisions affect each other in an exponential fashion. All in all taking into account each moment of each day and how it will affect the next eliminates the danger in dreaming too much. Why fall into some lofty idea of the future, dread the past, or be sad in the present thinking of all of them when I can simply satisfy the conditions of this day. Isn't that hard enough?

By being productive this moment and achieving my immediate goals, I inevitably affect the next moment in my life. That affect will be a positive one because I made a positive decision the moment before. I have affected my past, present and future simultaneously. I won't worry about anything because worry isn't productive and it wastes time by any standards. I also won't be naive and believe I won't falter sometimes and do unproductive things but I will not dwell in them. I understand myself and what I want to do. If I don't understand, I will seek to understand through acknowledging my dreams and goals from moment to moment but not looking further than the moments I control (presumably not beyond the immediate future).

I will strive for peace and relaxation so that I don't have unnecessary baggage and I don't lose efficiency in my actions. I will generate positivity so that my future interactions with people are accounted for by my present contact with them. I will exist in eternity and live the first and last day of my life at the same time.

The Greatest to Ever Do it Part 1: Kobe Bryant

You should always strive to be the best at everything you do. Don't take any prisoners and never, ever let someone tell you they are better than you at anything. Many might say I'm arrogant for thinking this way, but here's how I see it. My competitive spirit extends into every arena of my life--it dictates my approach to each and every challenge I come across. Muhammad Ali said "I'm the greatest. I said that before I even knew I was" and went on to become the single greatest athlete ever. His mind was already wired to believe he was the best. That became an undeniable truth to him. From there his brain automatically worked to support his positive self image. I'm reading Psycho-Cybernetics now, an excellent book that talks about developing positive self images and how your mind acts to fulfill those beliefs without compromise. You should pick it up. Because I see no task as impossible and believe myself to be capable of doing any and all things, I'm able to cultivate a personality that accepts challenges, values learning and knowledge, and it's wired in me to always separate myself from the masses.


That was the premise for this new series of post-- The Greatest To Ever Do It.Each Week I'll post material on one of my role models and discuss why I try to model my self image after their own. I'll discuss how they demonstrate the power of purpose and confidence in life.




Ok, Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge sports fan. Quite frankly, it's been a dream of mine to be able to play professional football (of course this will never happen lol) And basketball has been a hobby of mine for some years. I'd say I'm decent, but honestly when you're on, you're on.

But on to my point, this week's entry is on the Black Mamba, the assassin Kobe Bryant. He epitomizes hard work and determination and though he's had to deal with haters and a few mistakes in life, his drive to be the best took him from a High School phenom to one of the best to ever do it on the court. Recently he won his first championship as the leader of his team, the Los Angeles Lakers, climbing from the bottom of the barrel after three championships playing behind Shaq and now he's on top again. He's dedicated himself to perfecting every facet of his game and is widely regarded as the best all around player in today's NBA. When he's on the court, he dominates and that's all there is to it. He has no heart when it comes to competition and his sole purpose is to win. He doesn't live by the philosophy "give it your best and win or lose, you'll be happy". HE WANTS TO WIN. That's how I feel about what I do. Whether it's Scrabble, a pick up game of basketball, a writing contest, applying to college, a class I'm taking, doesn't matter--in my mind, I believe I can do that task better than anyone and will do all I can to confirm that belief. If you're not a kobe fan after watching these vids, something is wrong.